What better way to predict the new year than with the cutest ever animals?
Thứ Tư, 31 tháng 12, 2014
A womans husband worked at a Pickle Factory...
One day, her husband comes home and says, "Dear, for years at work I have had the powerful urge to stick my dick in the pickle slicer. Every day, when I walk past the pickle slicer, I get the compulsion to just stick it in. Well, today, I gave in and shoved my dick in the pickle slicer right there on the work floor."
The wife gasps, "Oh my God! What happened?"
"She and I both got fired."
24 Cats Who Are Nailing Their Sweater Game
Sweaters are like a constant cuddle!
"My style is casual and comfortable!"
"Do sweaters make you feel pensive, too?"
"I like that sweaters let me express my true self."
"Next. Level. Cozy."
17 Animals Who Have Already Broken Their New Years Resolutions
Keeping resolutions is tough, but shouldn’t you at least make it to the New Year before you give up completely? Clearly, no one gave these animal friends the pep talk they needed.
This monkey gave up sugar.
#FAIL
i.imgur.com / Via Reddit/r/animals
These birds resolved to stay off chicken-flavored dog food because they know how incredibly creepy it is that they eat it.
#FAIL
i.imgur.com / Via reddit.com
This yak swore off chewing tobacco.
#FAIL
behance.net / Via Tumblr
This bear resolved to get up and go to the gym this year.
#FAIL
bcferriesvacations.com / Via reddit.com
11 Of 2014's Most Explosive Music Beefs
Mmm, beefy.
Adam Bettcher
Getty Images Theo Wargo
Taking the high road, Ariana Grande had nothing but positive things to say about Midler, noting she wanted the "sexy mermaid" side of Middler back.
Macklemore Got Real About White Privilege And Appropriation In Hip-Hop In A Radio Interview
“This is not a culture that white people started.”
After taking an extended hiatus to record a follow up to his 2013 smash The Heist, Macklemore resurfaced last night via an extensive interview with Hot 97. In it, he spoke candidly about being a successful white rapper in a historically black genre.
Frazer Harrison / Getty Images
"This, to me, is what it comes down to: You need to know your place in the culture. Are you taking or are you contributing? [...] You need to listen, you need to be humble. This is a whole debate, but this is not my culture to begin with. This is not a culture that white people started. I do believe that as much as I have honed my craft and put in years of dedication into the music that I love, I need to know my place."
Why am I safe? Why can I cuss on a record, have a parental advisory sticker on the cover of my album, and yet parents are still like "You're the only rap album I let my kids listen to'? Why can I wear a hoodie and not be labeled a thug? Why can I sag my pants and not be labeled a gang banger? Why am I on Ellen's couch and Good Morning America? If I was black, what would my [past] drug addiction look like? It would be twisted into something else rather than people being like 'Get back on your feet!' To me, the privilege that exists in the music industry is the same privilege that exists in America as a whole… it's white privilege.
The 29 Most Life-Changing One Direction Moments Of 2014
It was truly a great year to be a Directioner.
When they met Prince William and Kate Middleton and you weren't sure who the actual royals were:
Pool / Reuters
Cat Hidden In Mattress Sold On Craigslist Found Safe
Camo the cat is back home after a two-week adventure.
KATU / Via katu.com
However, Dufek wrote that he was unaware his girlfriend's skittish cat, Camo, had a habit of hiding in the box spring.
After selling it, Dufek realized the cat was missing.
Roy Dufek / Via reddit.com
I never want to have a threesome,
If I wanted to dissappoint two people at once I'd have dinner with my parents.
27 Animals Who Are Totally Ready For Their New Year's Kiss
Midnight is almost here!
This pup who is ready to cross species barriers with his kissing abilities.
Which Member Of Sonic Youth Are You?
Hey kool thing, sit down beside me, there’s something I gotta ask you. I just wanna know, are you Thurston, Kim, Lee, or Steve?
23 Cats React To The Biggest Shocks In Cinema History
Big movies. Small creatures. Huge surprises. Spoilers ahead.
Yuri's strange connection to Gollum causes a reflexive attempt to save him from the flames in Lord of the Rings: Return of the King.
"He was no one's 'precious.' Everyone oughtta be someone's," Yuri weeps. It is a mourning service of only one, but sometimes one will do.
Rinaldo is horrified to learn WHAT'S IN THE BAHHHHHX in crime thriller Se7en.
"Wrath," he thinks. "I, too, know its destructive power." He looks in on his pretty sleeping wife, swearing a protection he knows is in many ways beyond his control.
Mylo the Cat / Via funnyordie.com
Bombay is transfixed when Mark Wahlberg whips it out and delivers a killer closing monologue in Boogie Nights.
He gazes upon the monstrous thing, an instrument of so much pleasure yet so much pain. "Heavy is the head that wears the crown, indeed," he declares quietly, though he watches alone.
Stanley looks around to see if anyone else thinks that "Rosebud" being a sled in Citizen Kane is a bit anticlimactic.
He searches not only for another who shares his views of the classic film, but in search of his once-tender soul that might have been touched by the melancholy revelation.
fuckyeahcatgifs.tumblr.com / Via giphy.com
The best jokes also teach you something.
In 1954 John Stapp broke a huge record. Using a rocket powered sled that was going 632 mph, he came to a full stop in just over 1 second. He experienced 46.2 G's making his 168 pound body feel for an instant like it was 7,700 pounds and he STILL only felt half as fat as yo mamma.
A Python Swallowed An Entire Wallaby In Australia
Warning: These pictures are quite something.
A snake in Australia is most likely now suffering from a food coma after killing and swallowing AN ENTIRE WALLABY on Monday, the Australian Broadcasting Corporation reported.
Northern Territory Parks and Wildlife / Via facebook.com
Paul O'Neill, a ranger at Nitmiluk National Park in Australia's Northern Territory, went to investigate after noticing some birds "making a frightful noise" and came across this scene, the NT Parks and Wildlife said on Facebook.
Northern Territory Parks and Wildlife / Via facebook.com
O'Neill stumbled upon an Olive Python digesting a young Agile Wallaby and decided to take close-up photographs of the meal, instead of RUNNING FOR HIS LIFE IN CASE HE WAS TO BE DESSERT.
Northern Territory Parks and Wildlife / Via facebook.com
The python constricted itself around the joey...
Northern Territory Parks and Wildlife / Via facebook.com
[OC] A guy I know is a nurse and recently left his job. This was the cake his coworkers got him.
http://i.imgur.com/5LnLfLz.jpg
How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One.
They're very efficient and don't have a great sense of humour.
Awful Neighbors
"There is a huge house in our street. The extended family is run by a grumpy old woman with a pack of irritable dogs allowed to run without leashes. Her car isn't taxed or insured and doesn't even have a number plate, but the police still do nothing. To the best of my knowledge, she has never worked in her life. Her bad-tempered old man is notorious for his racist comments. All their kids have broken marriages except the youngest, who everyone thought was gay. Two grandsons are meant to be in the Army but are always out partying in nightclubs. They are both out of control. God, I hate living near Buckingham Palace! "
18 Covers Of Pop Songs That Breathe New Life Into The Originals
Because it never hurts to mix things up a little.
"Use Somebody," Scala & Kolacny Brothers
This soft, sweet piano and choral arrangement makes Kings of Leon's rock anthem sound like something straight out of Downton Abbey.
Via http://youtube.com
“Baby One More Time," Bowling for Soup
Britney Spears' bubblegum debut gets a brand new attitude in this darker, punky remake.
Via http://youtube.com
“Hot in Herre," Jenny Owen Youngs
The folk singer shows her fun side by taking on Nelly's sexy-fied hip-hop romp.
Via http://youtube.com
“I Knew You Were Trouble," Walk off the Earth
These quirky Canadians love putting their unique spin on pop songs. Here they take on Taylor Swift with a damn fun a cappella arrangement.
Via http://youtube.com
Let These Majestic Cats Heroically Lead You Into 2015
Why isn't there democracy in North Korea?
Because everytime they try to pronounce "election" everyone starts to giggle
Thứ Ba, 30 tháng 12, 2014
This Teen Got One Direction Tickets For Christmas And Had An Absolute Meltdown
And Facebook loves her for it.
The problem with being an adult is that you know deep down you will never be this happy ever again.
Or, indeed, this happy.
Or this happy.
Or this happy.
This Local News Reporter Warmed Up By Performing "Alphabet Aerobics" And The Internet Loves Her For It
Well done Kim Powell, well done indeed.
Ok, she's not Daniel Radcliffe, but who is?
Well, obviously Daniel Radcliffe, but anyway.
Leaving the office for Christmas like...
Yup, we like you, Kim Powell.
Five guys in an Audi Quattro...
...arrive at the Italian border. The Italian customs officer stops them and says,
"It'sa illegal to puta five people in a Quattro."
"What are you talking about?" the driver asked.
"Quattro meansa four, and you are five-a people."
"Quattro is just the name of the car."
"Don'ta think you can fool me! Quattro meansa four and you are five-a people, you are breakinga the law."
"You idiot! Call your supervisor, I need to speak with someone with more intelligence!"
"He can'ta come."
"Why not?"
"He'sa busy witha two guys in an Uno."
I don't know why people say cricket is too complicated. Anyway this should clear things up.
http://i.imgur.com/wP0yqgl.jpg
Un maître a mis une GoPro sur son chien et a pu voir ce qu'il faisait toute la journée
Véritablement le meilleur ami de l’homme.
Avertissement : c'est assez déprimant.
Scientists Got Some Birds Drunk To See If It Has Any Effect On Their Singing
“Should auld acquaintance be (hiccup).” —A bird
To try to better understand humans' speech impairment after having a few too many, scientists let some birds drink the fowl equivalent of jungle juice to answer one question: Would it affect their vocals?
Researchers chose zebra finches (pictured above) as their subjects, mainly because the songbirds learn to communicate vocally similar to how we learn to talk — a trait that's been found in only a handful of other species, including some marine mammals and bats.
Raj Kamal/Raj Kamal
After feeding the finches juice with 6% alcohol in it, the birds' songs got a little wonky.
"At first we were thinking that they wouldn't drink on their own because, you know, a lot of animals just won't touch the stuff," lead researcher Christopher Olson told NPR's All Things Considered . "But they seem to tolerate it pretty well and be somewhat willing to consume it."
Wilamoyo/Wilamoyo
With their blood alcohol levels ranging from .05% to .08%, the finches appeared to be acting normal — that is, until they opened their beaks.
Though their motor functions were the same, their singing got quieter, and they were less able keep the structure of their song.
Jim Bendon / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: jim_bendon_1957
Wonder how good they'd be at texting.
You can listen to audio of the sloppy birds over at NPR.
My sister and I decided to get professional photos done with our dogs. This is the result.
http://imgur.com/gNWxHm8
I told my fiance that we should get married on a nude beach.
That way we can really see who the best man is.
This guy showed up at my back door last night, I guess I own a cat now
http://i.imgur.com/7OTVWNQ.jpg
I don't know that it's all that comfortable, but yeah, you should have a matching couch.
http://i.imgur.com/X9JuOm0.jpg
The Tragedy of the American Military
The Tragedy of the American Military
The American public and its political leadership will do anything for the military except take it seriously. The result is a chickenhawk nation in which careless spending and strategic folly combine to lure America into endless wars it can’t win.
December 29, 2014 at 10:00AM
via Digg http://www.theatlantic.com/features/archive/2014/12/the-tragedy-of-the-american-military/383516/
17 Cats With Very Important New Year's Resolutions
Kitties with some serious plans.
"My resolution is to grow into my GINORMOUS toe beans I've got here!"
"I plan on setting the record for the most naps a cat has ever taken. EVER."
"Pretty much just tryin' to go full liquid over here."
"Gonna be the best cat parents the world has ever seen!"
So Philip Seymour Hoffman is in the new Hunger Games . . .
If anything can bring him back, it's some powerful heroine.
Truth: The people who get naked are never the ones you WANT to get naked
http://i.imgur.com/FKcjw.png
15 "Iggy Freestyle" Posts That Prove Tumblr Has No Chill
“Iggy give us a freestyle.”
Iggy Of Waverley Place
GREENS
It's Iggy from State Farm.
Theme songs always make good freestyles.
This "Blank Space" And "Style" Mashup Is So Amazing Even Taylor Swift Is "Obsessed"
Taylor Swift fans — You’re about to be obsessed, too.
Nashville-based musicians Louisa Wendorff and Devin Dawson mashed up two of everyone's favorite songs from 1989 — "Blank Space" and "Style." The resulting acoustic cover is truly amazing.
Louisa Wendorff / Via youtube.com
H/T Entertainment Tonight .
19 Dogs Dressed As Your Favorite Star Wars Characters
Look out for the very rare and dangerous WampaPug.
This extremely accurate Chewbacca.
This Obi-Wan KenCorgi.
This very important Wicket.
This Jedi who is using the Force to get as many treats as possible.
This warms my heart, it's nice when companies pretend to care during the holidays.
http://i.imgur.com/km5kSDF.jpg
How Well Do You Know The Lyrics To These '90s Rap Songs?
My anaconda don’t want none unless you take this quiz, hun.
An Endangered Giraffe Was Born And She Has So Much Attitude
The Chester Zoo just welcomed a new baby giraffe and she DGAF.
This is Zahra, a 6-foot calf born at the Chester Zoo just before Christmas.
Chester Zoo
She's a Rothschild giraffe, one of the most endangered giraffes in the world, so this was extremely exciting news.
Chester Zoo
Zahra, who joins 8 other Rothschild giraffes, seems unfazed by the attention.
Chester Zoo
"Look at me, I'm majestic. Whatever."
Chester Zoo
An Owner Put A GoPro On His Dog And Saw The Heartbreaking Thing He Does All Day
Truly man’s best friend. Obsessed best friend.
Warning: it's pretty depressing.
Another vampire joke.
3 vampires walk into a blood bar.
The 1st vampire looks at the bartender and says "I'll have your finest cup of blood, type O negative please." The bartender happily obliges.
The 2nd vampire then places his order. "One mug of AB positive, with extra plasma please!" The bartender once again happily obliges.
The 3rd vampire asks for a cup of boiling water. The bartender, perplexed, asks what he'll be needing a cup of hot water for. The 3rd vampire then pulls out a used tampon and says "I'm making tea."
Thứ Hai, 29 tháng 12, 2014
17 Sexy Firefighters With Puppies Are Guaranteed To Make You Sweat
There is nothing sexier in the world than half-naked firefighters holding puppies. Except when they’re holding kittens.
I mean...I can't.
charlestonfirefightercalendar.com
Woof!
Facebook: FirefightersRescuingAnimals
Too much puppy!
Facebook: FirefightersRescuingAnimals
My neighbor likes to have sex at 5 am. I left her this card.
https://38.media.tumblr.com/72981cc9743a02ccca1288b4526721c6/tumblr_nhbxklAn0T1qa2cyco1_1280.jpg
26 Songs That Are Turning 10 Years Old In 2015
You’ll want to pon de replay this playlist.
"My Humps" — The Black Eyed Peas
Fun Fact: "My Humps" won Best Hip-Hop Video at the 2006 MTV Video Music Awards.
"You and Me" — Lifehouse
"Pon de Replay" — Rihanna
Fun Fact: Rihanna was only 17 when she released her debut single in May 2005.
"It's Like That" — Mariah Carey
