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Bartender: You need to buy a drink first. Me: Okay, I'll have a coke. Bartender: Is Pepsi okay? Me: Sure. How much is that? Bartend...

...useless surgeon.

He goes up the the mayor, holds up the bounty, and says, “I’ve got your bandit just as you requested ‘dead and alive’.” The mayor says, “n...

This actually just happened. Wife and Son are playing an intense game of battle ship. Son: I-8 Me: I haven’t ate... I’m hungry Wife: (n...

Because it was 2 squared

A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please may I hide under your skirt? I will explain later." The nun agreed. A...

They got really upset and started to cry. Scratch is a stupid name for a cat anyway..