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Thứ Ba, 11 tháng 9, 2018

I bought a pug for my wife.

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Despite the bulging eyes, wrinkles and layers of fat, the pug seemed to like her.

Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.

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I was like, 0mg.

A man and his wife were getting dressed for a big event. After putting on her dress, she asked her husband, "does this dress make my ass look fat?"

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The husband sighed, and asked his wife, "Honey, do you promise me you won't get mad, no matter how I answer?" His wife said,...
Thứ Hai, 10 tháng 9, 2018

My wife asked me to pass.......

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her lip balm, instead, I gave her Super Glue by mistake. She's still not talking to me.

Yesterday I sinned with an 18year old girl.

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Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “...

Guy goes into a bar

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A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve beers and starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinkin...

A man tells his wife, 'I bet you can't say something that would make me happy and sad at the same time'

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She tells him, 'You have the biggest dick out of all your friends'
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