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Thứ Sáu, 15 tháng 2, 2019

Some day, Canada will take over the world.

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And then we'll all be sorry.

My grandpa tried to warn everyone The Titanic was gonna sink.

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When everyone just ignored him, he yelled at them three more times, eventually they got irritated and kicked him out of the theater.

There were three guys in an airplane. One guy dropped a rock, another dropped a brick, and the last dropped a grenade.

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When they got back on the ground they were walking down the street and they saw a woman crying. Being the gentlemen they are they went up t...

My mate broke his leg so I went to see him at home.

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“How are you mate?” “Yeah I’m okay. But do me a favour mate. Go fetch my slippers from upstairs. My feet are freezing.” I went upstairs a...

Every year for Valentine’s Day I used to always get a card from a "secret admirer". This is the first year where I haven’t received anything.

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First my mum dies, now this?

When a girl changes her clothes in front of you, she's either really interested or you're level 99 friend-zoned

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Or she hasn't spotted you in the tree yet

Knock Knock

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"Who is there?" "Grandma!" "Grandma wh-, HOLY SHIT STOP THE FUNERAL!"
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