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Thứ Ba, 14 tháng 4, 2020

What's the difference between me and cancer?

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My dad didn’t beat cancer.

Why did the transgender person disappear after they gave birth?

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They became transparent.

When is the best time to commit suicide?

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Ate a glock in the morning.

A man asks his wife, "What would you do if I won the lottery?" She replied, "I'd take half then leave you."

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"Sweet!", he replied. "I won $20. Here's $10. Now bugger off."

I hated the quarantine at first. Then I realized I have everything I need at my house, and I slowly started loving the isolation.

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Probably it’s stock home syndrome.

I work in a hospital, and I found a rectal thermometer in my pocket today.

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Some asshole must have my pen.

Aspirin

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A man comes home to his wife with a jar of aspirin. "honey, I got you this aspirin" "but I don't have a headache"...
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