Funny Story

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Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.

Thứ Năm, 20 tháng 4, 2017

I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs...

"Really?" she said, "Go on then...try." After about thirty seconds of fondling she lost patience and demanded "Come on, what day was I born?" “Yesterday." I replied.

An Italian boy's confession

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."

The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"

"Yes, Father, it is."

"And who was the girl you were with?"

"I cant tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."

"Well, Joey, Im sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"

"I cannot say."

"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"

"Ill never tell."

"Was it Nina Capelli?"

"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."

"Was it Cathy Piriano?"

"My lips are sealed."

"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"

"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"

"Four months vacation and five good leads!"

Accordion to scientific studies, 90% ..

of people do not realise I replaced the beginning of this joke with a musical instrument.

What end of the rope did Aaron Hernandez hang himself with?

The tight end.

Thứ Tư, 19 tháng 4, 2017

So, two deer walk out of a gay bar................

One of them turns to the other and says "Man, I can't believe I blew 30 bucks in there".

-------Job Interview----------

Interviewer:What are your strengths?

Me: I fall in love easily.

Interviewer: Erm, okay... what are your weaknesses?

Me: Those blue eyes of yours.

At any given moment the urge to sing Lion Sleeps Tonight is just a whim-away...

...a whim-away,a whim-away,a whim-away...