He's a small arms dealer
Thứ Tư, 31 tháng 5, 2017
A joke my Dad told me that I never understood when I was a child.
A man walking along a California beach is deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, "Lord, Grant me one wish."
The sunny Californian sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish"
The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want."
The Lord replied, "Your request is very materialistic, think if the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports will have to reach down to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. Just think about the amount of concrete and steel that would have to be used! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honour and glorify me."
The man thought about it for a long time, when finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are they thinking when they give the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing' and how can I make them truly happy.
The Lord replied, "Do you want 2 lanes or four lanes on that bridge?"
The Meaning of Life
A Redditor walks into a bar and asks the bartender
“Bartender, get me something new and fresh from r/jokes.” He chirped
“Sorry mate, all we have are reposts from the last 8 years”
“How can this be!” The Redditor exclaimed “If I can’t get my fix from r/jokes, then what is the point of living!”
“Yeah, what IS the point of living” the bartender grumbled
The Redditor then sat there for what felt like hours, pondering the meaning of his pitiful existence. Over the later days, he began to become erratic, asking Scientists, Men of God and even random strangers what they thought the purpose of living is.
Unsatisfied with all his answers, he climbs to the side of a bridge in hopes of throwing himself off. His feet where on the edge and he was about to jump when and old man taps his side and says to him
“Do not jump. I know the answers you seek. Look to the stars and continue onwards”
The old man the shuffled off without another word.
With renewed hope swelling in his chest, he gathers all his life savings and builds a rocket ship. Tirelessly, he worked day and night for many, many years until it was finished.
Immediately he jumped in and launched off towards the stars, aimlessly wandering space for so long that he forgot, until he landed on another planet inhabited by alien creatures.
Clambering out of the ship, he desperately asked each alien who came across his path
“Do you know? Do you know the purpose of living?”
The alien creatures could not understand what he was saying, but understood that glint of questions in his eyes like so many others that have come past. They pointed him to a nearby comet that was orbiting the planet. He climbed back into the rocket and shot off to the comet.
Upon landing, he realises that the ball of ice is completely barren, so he then decides to dig.
So he digs and he digs and he digs, but the Redditor was now an old man and those years of searching where finally taking his toll on him.
But as he gets to the center, he finds a piece of parchment with something written on it. The Redditor could feel that these were his last breaths but he was so close to the answer that plagued him his entire life.
The parchment simply read
“OP’s Mom”
The Redditor gave a faint chuckle
“The real joke is always in the comets”
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