Since I get free meat from work, every month I host a BBQ.

A perk of working in an abortion clinic I guess.

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I just found out I'm colorblind

The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.

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What are you drinking there, son?

Son: soy milk

Dad: hola milk, soy tu padre

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Is this the right sub? Need help repairing my fence.

It seems everyone knows how to repost here.

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They're finally making a movie about clocks.

It's about time

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An attractive woman asked me if I wanted to see a movie yesterday.

She said what would you like to see. I said you pick. She said you pick. I said I don't care you pick. She said, Sir there are other people waiting in line to buy tickets.

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I buy all my guns from a guy called T-Rex

He's a small arms dealer

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