We had been his customers for 8 years. We had no idea he was a barber.
Thứ Năm, 13 tháng 9, 2018
Joke I heard from a 109 year old Holocaust survivor
A Jew gets to heaven after passing and meets god. The Jew tells god a Holocaust joke, but god doesn't laugh. The Jew shrugs and says, "I guess you had to be there to understand".
A frog walks into a bank for a loan...
A frog walks into a bank for a loan and is greeted by the teller.
“Well goodness me! In all 30 years of working here I’ve never once seen a frog come in! How can I help you today?”
“Well ma’am, I’ve come in for a loan.”
“I see. I can definitely help you begin the process for that. Do you mind if I ask what exactly would a frog need a loan for, however?”
“Well, it’s not really any of your business ma’am, but it’s for this,” the frog says as he hands her a picture of a small, toy elephant.
“Huh, how peculiar. I’m not sure if we can approve a loan for something like that. Let me speak with my manager quickly and I’ll be right back with you. Can I have your name, please?”
“Kermit, ma’am.”
“Ah! Kermit! Like Kermit the Frog!”
“No ma’am. Kermit Jagger. My mother was a frog and my father was Mc Jagger.”
“I see. Well then, just hang tight and I’ll be right back.”
“Ma’am wait! I didn’t get your name!”
“Patty Whack,” the teller responds as she heads into the back office.
Patty walks into the office and begins recalling the series of events that just happened to her manager.
“You see, sir, it’s a frog who says he’s the son of Mc Jagger. We’ve never done business with a frog before. And to top it all off, he wants a loan for this,” she says as she shows the picture of the small, toy elephant to her manager. “What even is this... thing?”
Her boss responds, “It’s a knick-knack, Patty Whack, give the frog a loan, his old man is a Rolling Stone.”
A sailor and a priest were playing golf.
The sailor too his first shot and it sliced wide right. The sailor said "Ah fuck, I missed."
The priest replied, surprised, "My son, you shouldn't speak that way or God will punish you."
The sailor took aim for his next shot and hooked it badly to the left. "I fucking missed again!"
The priest overheard and replied "Child, please don't use that language or God will punish you!"
The sailor finally made it on the green and lined up his putt. The ball was heading straight and true when a gopher popped out of a hole and stole the ball. The priest was amused, thinking God had punished the sailor for his filthy language. The sailor, bewildered, whispered "What the fuck?"
The priest lost it. "That's it! You ignore the small sign that God disapproves of your language! Now he'll most certainly punish you severely!" Suddenly a bolt of lightning came down and struck the priest, killing him.
In the distance a deep voice boomed, "FUCK, I missed!"
Đăng ký:
Bài đăng (Atom)