You actually mean it when you pray at a casino.
Thứ Tư, 20 tháng 3, 2019
A catholic priest goes on vacation and asks the janitor to run the confessional booth.
J- “ I don’t know how to run the booth though!”
P- “ It is very easy. Just listen to the people’s sins and refer to the chart of sins on the wall. The chart will say how many Hail Marys the sinner must say for it to be forgiven”
The janitor agrees and begins his shift the next day. The first person to walk into the booth is a man.
M- “ forgive me father for I have sinned as I have lied to my wife”
The janitor looks at the chart and finds lying
J- “ just say 2 Hail Marys and your sin will be forgiven”
The next person to walk into the booth is a little boy
LB- “ forgive me father for I have sinned as I stole something from the store”
The janitor looks on the chart for stealing and says “ just say 3 Hail Marys and your sin will be forgiven”
The next person to walk into the booth is a woman
W- “ forgive me father for I have sinned as I cheated on my husband and gave another man a blow job”
The janitor looks on the chart for blow job but he can’t find it. The janitor runs out of the booth in a hurry and sprints into the church. In the church he spots an alter boy.
J- “Timmy! Timmy! What does father Nelson usually give for a blow job! ?”
Timmy- “ usually a bag of chips and a can of pop”
Most Of Us Have Been Lacing And Tying Our Shoes All Wrong
Most Of Us Have Been Lacing And Tying Our Shoes All Wrong
We are mesmerized by these unnecessarily fancy and extremely beautiful shoe-lacing techniques.
March 20, 2019 at 02:34AM
via Digg https://ift.tt/2UGs7oV
My Patient just told me this joke and i can't stop laughing
George was turning 90 this week and his friends thought of doing something special for him. So they planned to contact a high class Escort service and send him a nice surprise.
On his birthday, around 9 pm, when he was alone at home, the doorbell rang. George thought - who could it be ?
Then the doorbell rang again. He got up and walked up to the door.
As he opened the door, he was greeted by this young bombshell blonde, donned in a sexy little red dress with matching red lipstick and red heels.
As he says Hi,
she replies - Are you George ?
He says- Yes, I am.
She says - I am from SuperSex.
George pauses for a minute.
And then says nonchalantly, I'll have the soup please.
A young boy asks his dad:
"Dad, what is the difference between confident and confidential?"
The dad replies: "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend next door is also my son, that is confidential."
A Russian enters a bar full of Turkish people.
He's wearing a t-shirt with bright lettering "Turkish got 3 problems."
Just a few seconds later the Turkishs oppose him and say "Hey, yopu know what you're wearing is insulting?" The russian responds: "This is your first problem: You're so easily offended."
The Turkish respond: "Okay, maybe we should settle this outside." The Russian: "That's your second problem: You always want to solve your problems with violence."
The Turkish bring him outside and pull their knives. The Russian: "And here's your third problem. You always bring knives to gun fights."
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