After Osama Bin Laden dies, he finds himself in heaven.

"Welcome," says St. Peter, throwing open the pearly gates, "we've been expecting you."
As soon as Osama walks in, he sees George Washington. Without warning, Washington delivers a devastating uppercut to Bin Laden's jaw.
Stunned, Osama turns around to see Thomas Jefferson behind him. Jefferson raises a wooden cane and cracks it hard over Osama's head.
Then Patrick Henry approaches, and without hesitation, kicks him in the groin.
One by one, scores of American Founding Fathers gather around Bin Laden and proceed beat the crap out of him.
In agony, he cries out, "God, why? This was not what you promised me!"
And he hears God's voice reply: "Didn't you listen, Osama? I told you there'd be 72 Virginians waiting for you in paradise."