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Thứ Bảy, 31 tháng 1, 2015
I thought we had something.
I thought we had something. You met my family, made me dinner, called me honey. Now suddenly you're a "waitress" who was "doing her job?"
Two bishops get pulled over by a cop...
Two bishops get pulled over by a cop who says: "We're looking for two child molesters". Bishop one asks him to excuse them for a moment and whispers something to bishop two. After a few seconds, he turns back to the policeman and says: "Okay, we'll do it"
"I'm gonna treat you like I treat my homework"
"Oh, you're going to slam me on your desk and do me all night?"
"No, I'm going to stare at you and think there's so many better things I could be doing..."
Adobe is suing Forever 21 for pirating Photoshop
Adobe is suing Forever 21 for pirating Photoshop
Someone just got caught shoplifting.
January 30, 2015 at 10:03AM
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This Is What Happens When You Caption All Of Your Instagrams With Jay Z Lyrics
A Hov lyric for every situation in life.
For his last 50 Instagram posts, Wesley Verhoeve paired up Jay Z lyrics with beautifully-filtered photos of snow angels, bodies of water, and other scenes of everyday splendor.
Today he revealed the meaning behind his seemingly nondescript captions, acknowledging that they were really "Easter eggs."
A lover of both hip-hop and photography, Verhoeve found a creative way to meld his passions. "I started on a whim right after Christmas and told myself if I could do it for 50 pictures in a row I’d consider it a pretty decent run," he told BuzzFeed News.
Verhoeve's been a fan since the early '90s. "Growing up, I would get hip-hop CDs (remember those!?) from the library (remember those?!) and dub them onto cassettes, make pause tapes from the radio and watch Yo! MTV Raps past my bedtime," Verhoeve said.
Poll: When Did We Reach Peak One Direction?
Which of the boys’ ~looks~ over the years made you swoon the hardest? Besides all of them.
Will Varner
Oh My God, Do Not Google The Meaning Behind Nicki Minaj's New Song "Truffle Butter"
Do not do it! You will regret it!
This is Nicki Minaj's newest single called "Truffle Butter," it features Drake and Lil Wayne.
A man walks into a restaurant in Spain...
He sits down and orders his food. As he is waiting for his meal, a waiter walks by carrying a tray of food. The food smells so good that he immediately flags down another waiter and asks what it was that just passed him by. The waiter says, "ah Señor, those were the testicles of the bull that was slain at todays bullfights." The man, being a culinary adventurer, asks if he may also have this dish. "alas, es imposible," exclaims the waiter, "there is only one pair available per day." The man thanks the waiter, eats his food, and leaves. He comes back the next day, early, and requests the remains of the bullfight. The food comes and the man immediately eats it all. "How was it today, señor?" asks the same waiter as before. "Delicious!" exclaims the man,"I have but one question." "si?" inquires the waiter. "Everything was fine, but the portion today was so much smaller than yesterday. Why was that?" the man asks. The waiter replies, " Sometimes, señor, the bull wins."
A blonde comes home from school and says
"Mummy, mummy, all the other girls in my class can only count to 10 but I can count to 20. Is it because I'm blonde?"
Her mother replies: "Yes dear, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the blonde comes home from school and says: "Mummy, mummy, all the other girls in my class can't recite the alphabet, but I can. Is it because I'm blonde?"
"Yes dear, it's because you're blonde"
The next day she comes home and says: "Mummy, mummy, today we were getting changed for gym class and all the other girls had flat chests but I had these."
She points to her breasts. "Is it because I'm blonde?
"No dear, it's because you're 25."
The Unluckiest Guy in the world
A huge guy is drinking in a bar with his friend, when suddenly he sees a dude who looks really depressed. He looks at his friend and goes, 'You see the guy that seems to be having a really bad day? Well I'm gonna make his day even worse'. So he walks up to the dude and drinks the glass that was in front of him. The dude suddenly breaks into tears and starts crying hysterically. So the guy is surprised and tries to calm him down: ' Dude relax! I was just messing with you. I'll buy another drink'. The dude wipes off his tears and goes, 'I just had the worst day of my life. My car broke down on my way to work so I had to take a cab. I forgot my briefcase in the cab and cost my company millions of dollars. They fired me and I owe them their millions. When I got back from work, I found my wife in bed with my best friend. After all that I decided to end my life with a glass of poison, and you didn't even let me do that!'
There's A Change.org Petition To Make Riff Raff The New Lead Singer Of Blink-182
Has there ever been a more perfect idea?
Emmanuel Dunand / Getty Images
"We need a talented vocalist to fill the shoes of the late Tom DeLounge. Let us rise and declare Riff Raff new king of the Rock Show. Bless Tom's soul."
Riff Raff, best known to BuzzFeed readers as the Justin Timberlake to Katy Perry's Britney, is a rapper/living meme from Houston, TX. He's a Vine star too, and has expressed interest in starting country and rock bands in the past. He's an inspired choice to lead Blink.
From his post it’s unclear whether DeMarco thinks DeLounge died, or if he is just spiritually mourning the death of the band’s original lineup. Regardless, the petition has begun to make its rounds on social media.
Riff Raff has previously declared himself to be immortal, so it’s unclear if he’ll be able to understand the lyrics of “What’s My Age Again?”
Getty Images Jason Merritt
Big Sean's New Song With Drake Has A Surprise Verse From Kanye
Waayy-aayy up.
Happy Friday! Here's the first can't-miss party jam of 2015, care of Big Sean, Drake, and Kanye West, who shows up at the very end out of nowhere. It's called "Blessings."
As you might have guessed, the song is about how #blessed they are, but also hard work and sacrifice. "I done lost homies who been with me since Ed, Edd, n Eddy," Big Sean laments.
#blessed.
Thứ Sáu, 30 tháng 1, 2015
Somethings You Can't Explain.
So a farmer walks into a bar and orders 15 shots. The bartender asks "why are you getting wasted on such a beautiful day" The farmer replies "Somethings you can't explain." The Bartender asks what happened and the farmer explains, the farmer says "You see I was milking my cow Bessie and once I got a full bucket she kicked it over with her front right leg. So I tied it to a post. I then started to milk her and once I got a full bucket she kicks it with her hind right leg, so I tie that leg to a post. Again I start milking her and once I get a full bucket she kicks it over with her front left leg so I tie that to a post. I start milking her for the fourth time and once I get a full bucket she knocks it over with her last leg, so I tie it up too. I start milking her again and she knocks it over with her tail. I was out of rope so I had to tie her tail up with my belt, without my belt my pants fell down. At that moment my wife walked in. You see there are some things you just can't explain"
Missy Elliott Is Reportedly Katy Perry's Halftime Surprise
This is not a test!
It looks like Katy beat the odds, however, because a source told the Associated Press that Katy's mystery guest will be none other than rap legend Missy Elliott.
Andrew H. Walker / Getty Images
14 Animal Cams That Are Better Than TV
Prepare to squee your heart out.
The Kitten Rescue Cam
What you need to know: Kitten Rescue is based in Los Angeles, CA and can shelter up to 150 kitties at a time.
Why you'll never look away: What's better than watching kittens snuggle with each other and get into mischief? But be careful; if you leave the Kitten Rescue cam on too long you might die of cuteness overload.
The Goats Live Cam
What you need to know: Goats Live features two mini Saanen goats from a farm in Brooksville, FL.
Why you'll never look away: Don't worry, you're not a goat voyeur. Molly and Joy-Joy live for the attention.
The Jelly Cam
What you need to know: The Vancouver Aquarium showcases Japanese Sea Nettles on its Jelly Cam.
Why you'll never look away: The sight of these jellyfish gliding across your screen is sure to calm your nerves after a stressful day.
The Monterey Bay Aquarium Sea Otter Cam
What you need to know: There are five sea otters at the Monterey Bay Aquarium: Abby, Gidget, Ivy, Kit, and Rosa.
Why you'll never look away: These otters have more fun in 10 seconds than you'll have in your entire day.
Was walking by a mental hospital when...
I was walking down the street in front of a mental hospital when I heard a large group of people chanting 14, 14, 14, 14. My curiosity got the better of me so I peered through a small hole in the fence at which point a finger immediately poked me in the eye. After a short round of celebration I then heard the people start chanting 15, 15, 15, 15.
An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are trapped underground in a collapsed mine.
After some exploring of the area, they come across three rations of canned food that they all agree will allow them to survive for a few more days. Naturally, they all decide that each of them should have one of the three cans of food; unfortunately, none of them possess anything with which to open them.
The engineer promptly begins to throw his can as hard as he can against the wall of the mine, over and over, until it somehow breaks open. He proceeds to devour his meal in satisfaction.
Meanwhile, the physicist proceeds to analyze the structure of the can, looking for any potential weak spots in it to exploit. After some searching, he notices a flaw in his can and uses that to pry open the can, happy that he can also eat and survive a bit longer.
The mathematician, however, is a bit saddened. After thinking some about what he wants to do to try and open the can, he proclaims out loud to the other men:
"Suppose the can is open."
The subversive brilliance of Marshawn Lynch
The subversive brilliance of Marshawn Lynch
Lynch may be alone in his actions at the moment, but it seems fairly clear that in following the letter of the NFL's law — showing up to the press conference, and verbalizing an answer to a question — he's demonstrating that he, not Roger Goodell or anyone else, controls the conditions of his labor.
January 29, 2015 at 08:58AM
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2 Birds, 1 Stone
Nothing more, nothing less.
Creative Commons / Flickr: 67662120@N00
Creative Commons / Flickr: 15745225@N00
1 stone.
This Week’s Signature Songs, State By State
Here are the songs that defined America from Jan. 20 to Jan. 26, presented by BuzzFeed and Spotify. A state’s “signature song” is not its most popular, but its most distinctive — that is to say, the one that residents of that state streamed proportionally the most as compared with the U.S. as a whole.
Chris Ritter / BuzzFeed
For the week ending Jan. 26, Mississippi came "Out The Mud" with Kevin Gates, Florida lived Rich Gang's "Lifestyle", Luke Bryan played it again in South Dakota, and Fall Out Boy reigned supreme in seven states. Next Thursday, more Signature Songs from BuzzFeed and Spotify.
Alabama: Rae Sremmurd, "No Type"
Alaska: AWOLNATION, "Sail"
Arizona: Milky Chance, "Stolen Dance"
Arkansas: Fall Out Boy, "Centuries"
California: The Weeknd, "Often"
Colorado: Walk The Moon, "Shut Up And Dance"
Connecticut: Ella Henderson, "Ghost"
Delaware: Fetty Wap, "Trap Queen"
District of Columbia: Vance Joy, "Mess Is Mine"
Florida: Rich Gang, "Lifestyle"
Georgia: Chris Brown, "New Flame"
Hawaii: Magic!, "Let Your Hair Down"
Idaho: MKTO, "Classic"
Illinois: Fall Out Boy, "Fourth Of July"
Indiana: Fall Out Boy, "Jet Pack Blues"
Iowa: Sam Hunt, "Leave The Night On"
Kansas: Flo Rida, "GDFR"
Kentucky: Fall Out Boy, "Uma Thurman"
Louisiana: Kevin Gates, "John Gotti"
Maine: James Newton Howard, "The Hanging Tree"
Maryland: Nicki Minaj, "Feeling Myself"
Massachusetts: Calvin Harris, "Outside"
Michigan: Usher, "I Don't Mind"
Minnesota: Sheppard, "Geronimo"
Mississippi: Kevin Gates, "Out The Mud"
Missouri: Jason Derulo, "Trumpets"
Montana: Passenger, "Let Her Go"
Nebraska: Sam Hunt, "Take Your Time"
Nevada: Justin Bieber, "Home To Mama"
New Hampshire: David Guetta, "Dangerous"
New Jersey: Fall Out Boy, "Centuries"
New Mexico: Meghan Trainor, "All About That Bass"
New York: Sia, "Elastic Heart"
North Carolina: J. Cole, "G.O.M.D."
North Dakota: Eric Church, "Talladega"
Ohio: Fall Out Boy, "Irresistable"
Oklahoma: Katy Perry, "Dark Horse"
Oregon: George Ezra, "Budapest"
Pennsylvania: Walk The Moon, "Shut Up And Dance"
Rhode Island: J. Cole, "Fire Squad"
South Carolina: Ed Sheeran, "I See Fire"
South Dakota: Luke Bryan, "Play It Again"
Tennessee: Mark Ronson, "Uptown Funk"
Texas: ILoveMakonnen, "Tuesday (feat. Drake)"
Utah: Imagine Dragons, "I Bet My Life"
Vermont: Birdy, "Skinny Love"
Virginia: Fifth Harmony, "Sledgehammer"
Washington: Bastille, "Pompeii"
West Virginia: Fall Out Boy, "Novocaine"
Wisconsin: Ne-Yo, "She Knows"
Wyoming: Brantley Gilbert, "Bottoms Up"
Looking Back On Blink-182's Happier Times
“Blink-182 to us is always just been three really close friends having a lot of fun.”
Pop Punk Ambassadors Blink-182 officially (?) split this week, with Tom DeLonge's "I'm-not-a-member-but-I-didn't-leave-the-band" departure setting off a media ping-pong match of name calling, accusations, and general vitriol.
Bassist Mark Hoppus and drummer Travis Barker will remain together as Blink-182, performing live with Alkaline Trio's lead vocalist Matt Skiba in March.
Getty Images Frank Micelotta
Blink fans weathered a similar storm in 2005 when the band went on hiatus. Travis Barker and Mark Hoppus formed +44, a band in the same pop-punk vein as Blink-182, while Tom DeLonge tried to reinvent the rock wheel with synth-heavy Angels and Airwaves.
Geffen
But once upon a time, the band got along pretty damn well, with Hoppus risking his own life and saving DeLonge from a dragon in an enchanted forest.
In spite of their sometimes crude, juvenile humor — or because of their crude, juvenile humor — Hoppus, DeLonge, and Barker formed seemingly strong friendships.
Getty Images Frank Micelotta
One Marine is better than...
A large group of Isis fighters in Iraq are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand dune: "One Marine is better than ten Isis fighters".
The Isis commander quickly orders 10 of best men over the dune where a gun battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence.
The voice once again calls out: "One Marine is better than one hundred Isis 'S.O.B.'s'".
Furious, the Isis commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gun fight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.
The voice calls out again: "One Marine is better than a thousand Isis fighters." The enraged Isis commander musters 1,000 fighters and sends them to the other side of the dune. Rifle fire, machine guns, grenades, rockets and cannon fire ring out as a terrible fight is fought ... then silence.
Eventually, one badly wounded Isis fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men ... it's a trap. There's two of them."
16 Texts I Wish I Could Send My Cat
Not like he’s got anything else going on.
This one:
BuzzFeed / Erin Chack
This one:
BuzzFeed / Erin Chack
One of these once in awhile:
BuzzFeed / Erin Chack
This one all the time:
BuzzFeed / Erin Chack
9 Disney Animals Who Could Get It
Don’t act like you didn’t think about it.
Scar
I'm not saying you would be proud of it but I'm saying on the right night, this villain could get it. He's like your worst college mistakes. Would you tell your friends about it? No. Would you regret it? Probably. Will you have a great time? Absolutely.
Meeko
Listen, listen, listen. Meeko was a good raccoon and all but he was also a sly guy with a mischievous side. He loves biscuits of all varieties, but especially John Smith's so you know he's down for whatever.
Disney / Via filmgurulad.blogspot.com
The Beast
I'm not talking about the pretty boy prince he eventually turns into. I'm talking about the BEAST. Yeah, he's a little domineering but it could be fun for a one night role play situation.
Pongo
Pongo was a romantic. He's a great friend (HELLO, HE FOUND HIS BEST BRO A WIFE CAUSE HE WAS ALL "DUDE, STOP BEING SO DEPRESSING") and can shake that booty. Plus, boy had 101 kids so you know he's got to be packing something. 10/10 could get.
A Baker's Dozen Of Cat Loaves
You look loavely today.
Purrpernickel Loaf
A Sliced Sandwhisker Loaf
Meowrble Rye Loaf
Pouncetato Loaf
22 Questions About Life On Tour With Fall Out Boy
David J. Bertozzi
From "Grand Theft Autumn/Where Is Your Boy" to "Thnks fr th Mmrs" these four dudes from Chicago most likely played a crucial role in your teenage pop-punk years. If you spent countless hours standing in the rain at Warped Tour just to see them play, or were a member of their actual fan club Overcast Kids (yes, it existed, and we even got our own membership cards) then you probably panicked in anticipation over their latest album, American Beauty/American Psycho, which unsurprisingly debuted this week at No. 1.
If a new album wasn't enough, they just announced a summer co-headlining tour — Boys of Zummer — with Wiz Khalifa and special guest Hoodie Allen. So with all this excitement ahead, we had the guys stop by BuzzFeed NY to chat all about their new album, life on tour, and their favorite memories throughout the past decade.
1. What's the one thing you have to bring on the road with you?
Joe: Wallet
Patrick: Always need a wallet. We need guitars, and drums and things.
Pete: Baby wipes. You know? It's like a shower.
David J. Bertozzi
2. What's the best way for a fan to get your attention at a show?
Joe: Just give me a call. Pick up the phone; we'll chat.
Patrick: Hello? How is the show going?
Andy: Just say hi.
Joe: Or walk up on stage, say hi.
Patrick: (shakes head) No.
3. Are you for or against fan signs at shows?
Patrick: It's very hard to read signs on stage. People are always like, "Yeah! Look at the thing!" And I'm just like, "I am! I don't see what it says! But I'm glad you wrote."
Pete: Funny signs are great. I love when kids have like legitimately great senses of humor. The giant heads are cool too, but I feel bad for the people behind.
Andy: Yeah, I mostly feel bad about signs, because it obscures people's view.
Like those giant light-up signs.
Patrick: I always wonder where the light comes from. Where are they getting their power?!
4. What are your favorite snacks to bring on the tour bus?
Joe: Whatever my mom packed me for lunch.
Pete: Whiskey.
Andy: Potato chips.
David J. Bertozzi
5. What’s the weirdest fan request you’ve ever gotten?
Patrick: Once, someone asked me to sign their pacemaker. And of course I did, because why not? That's awesome.
6. What was the most memorable concert you’ve ever played?
Pete: The time that we played Obama's inauguration and the Secret Service said if we ran, we were a potential target. (laughs) The show was awesome.
Patrick: There are snipers — if you run, you may be shot. Be prepared.
Pete: I think that's one of those things where you don't even sign a release. It's just like, "You got fuckin' shot, sorry."
7. Do you have any rituals that you do right before you go on stage?
Patrick: Human sacrifice.
Joe: Yeah, I burn potions in the forest.
Pete: Prayer circle, black magic.
So you guys are like The Craft, just the male version.
Joe: Yeah, just four chicks just hanging out, being ladies. You know, that's us, The Craft!
Patrick: Casting spells!
Pete: Light as a feather, stiff as a board.
David J. Bertozzi
8. What's your favorite music video that you've ever made?
Pete: I'll just answer for Patrick: "Thanks for the Memories."
Patrick: Going off of that, I really liked "Take Over, The Breaks Over" because it was the shortest shoot we've ever done.
Joe: Actually, American Beauty/American Psycho [was].
Patrick: Oh, yes! Oh my goodness. That's easily my favorite video to shoot.
Joe: That was like a 15-minute shoot. Literally.
Pete: Or the "My Songs" video might have been. It was so short it was almost like we weren't there.
Andy: I don't like wasting my talent on videos with these guys, I want to play Star Wars all day. That's where my talent belongs.
9. What was the last song you forgot lyrics to?
Patrick: I forget a lot of words. That happens on a regular basis. The other day I did a little cheer when I got through two new songs in a row, because I was like, Yay, Patrick! You remembered all those words!
Joe: The acoustic shows are the ones that I remember.
Patrick: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I forgot an entire verse and it's an acoustic show, so there's nothing you can do. You just hear everything, and I just couldn't not call it out — I was just like, Yeah, I don't remember. I just don't. You're supposed to pretend like it was a plan and be like, Yeah, everyone, you sing it! Sing along! I'm gonna follow you now! But I tend to just let it happen — I like when we make mistakes because then you know that we're real.
Pete: I get a lot of side-eye when it happens.
Patrick: Because I know he's got some smarmy thing he's gonna say! He's gonna be like, Oooh, good job, Patrick! And I'm just like, Don't!
Pete: And good job implies bad job.
Patrick: Yes, sarcasm.
David J. Bertozzi
10. What’s your favorite Wiz Khalifa song?
Pete: There's already a mashup of "Sugar We're Goin' Down" out there that people should check out that some kid made. I like all of his last record. We're working on some stuff!
Any chance you'll do something on stage together?
Pete: Hopefully.
Patrick: Maybe!
11. What’s your favorite Uma Thurman era?
Andy: Kill Bill.
Pete: Yeah, Kill Bill era.
Joe: I like Pulp Fiction.
12. What's your favorite movie: American Beauty or American Psycho?
Patrick and Andy: Star Wars.
Patrick: Between American Beauty and American Psycho we'd say Star Wars, yeah.
13. Is there a song you wish you had put out as a single?
Patrick: All I know is that every time I have an opinion on what song should be a single, what song should be on the record, I am always wrong. Always. So, guaranteed we shouldn't listen to me. I write some songs, and then I have no good opinion about them.
Pete: But lots of opinions!
Patrick: Oh, yeah. I don't mean to misspeak here. I have lots of opinions, I'm very opinionated about it.
Joe: The reality is, we're a band of four people and we also have other people we look to for counsel, and it goes through a lot of people.
Pete: Sometimes Patrick's opinion is like a grease fire and we do keep throwing water on it for a minute.
Patrick: It's fun to watch me sizzle.
Joe: To be fair to Patrick, I always end up liking our B-sides a lot. And I always have regrets about — I'm the only one that regrets — them not being on the record.
Andy: I like our B-sides too! I regret that too.
Joe: He's the only one that regrets it, actually. I don't regret it anymore. I've lost my regret.
David J. Bertozzi
14. Was it a conscious choice to go from sentence-long song titles to one word?
Pete: I think at some point, everything about it's the art and the expectation becomes — you know people expect a certain thing all time, and you've gotta sorta challenge that as an artist. But it's not like, Now there will never be a long one!
Patrick: Just when it's the novelty of like, Oh, what kooky song titles are they cooking up now!
Pete: When someone becomes more a fan of the song titles than the songs, it's a problem. (laughs)
15. What's your craziest Warped Tour memory?
Joe: Just how warped the whole thing was.
Pete: The time our bus AC broke down and it was 100 degrees at night and I threw a fan down the hall, and our buddy stuck his head out and the fan comes [by him] and he just moved right by. Serendipity.
16. You're known for very verbose song titles — are there alternate titles that you wish you had used or not?
Pete: I wish we had named on a song on this record "Where Are the Fucking Guitars." (laughs)
David J. Bertozzi
17. What were your AIM screen names back in the day?
Andy: I had a lot. I'd just think of cool stuff from comics and put X's all around it.
Joe: xSpidermanx
18. What's the most embarrassing thing to happen to you guys on stage?
Andy: These guys have all fallen at various times. That's embarrassing for them — and me.
Patrick: It's embarrassing for me to be associated with them!
Andy: I'm a professional. I don't mess up; I don't have these things.
Joe: Yeah I feel very embarrassed for Andy.
19. What band that you've toured with do you consider your closest friends?
Joe: Metallica.
Pete: Yeah, I would say Metallica from that show we played, but we played way before them.
Patrick: We didn't actually meet them that time, um, or ever. But they're our closest friends.
Andy: For real though, there are a lot of bands that we're really good friends with.
David J. Bertozzi
20. What song of yours are you sick of?
Andy: We're not really sick of any songs. We all favorite different songs at different times so it kind of keeps it fresh.
Patrick: Yeah, it's fun to play any of the songs, the only thing that sucks is, like, for me singing, there are some songs that are just really hard and when we get to them I'm just like, Uhh, this one again. But in general, I'm not tired of them.
Pete: [It's like] the teenage kid that, like, really gets on your nerves and then turns out to be a great guy.
Patrick: I have no idea where you're going with that.
Pete: The song! You know what I'm saying. It's like you really look at it and you're like, Ah this fucking teenager. But he ends up turning out great at the end.
21. What's your favorite song you’ve ever written?
Andy: Our upcoming single "Uma Thurman" is the best song we've ever written.
Patrick: The best song ever written.
22. Can fans expect you to play some of your super old stuff on this upcoming tour?
Joe: Yeah, we always play some older stuff on tour.
Andy: It'll be fun to figure out, now that we have so many songs, to figure out how to have a good mix of old and new.
Joe: Yeah, I think it becomes like a challenge sort of. It's a cool challenge to also realize we have a mass catalog to choose from.
Download Fall Out Boy's new album American Beauty/American Psycho on iTunes, and grab tickets to their Boys of Zummer tour on sale now.
My girlfriend and I were fighting in the car
We glared at eachother and I thought neither of us would back down, but in the end we struck an Accord.
25 Photos So Cute They Will Make You Squeal Every Damn Time
*SQUEALS*
OMG hey buddy.
*gasping*
Love truly *is* blind, isn't it?
*tears up*
Look how... it's just... resting there...
18 Types Of Hangovers Illustrated By Este Haim's Bassface
Only Este’s facial expressions could possibly portray just how bad you feel right now.
The "I am never drinking again for as long as I live" hangover.
REX USA/Brian Rasic / Rex
The "oh no I'm definitely going to puke" hangover.
FameFlynetUK/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES
The "shhh, no, no, no don't tell me what I did" hangover.
Ethan Miller / Getty Images
The "I feel so horrifically sorry for myself" hangover.
FameFlynetUK/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES
This Astronaut Has The Best Official Portrait You'll Ever See
Meet Leland Melvin, your new favorite spaceman.
Melvin has been working for NASA since 1989. He's assigned to the Astronaut Office Space Station Operations Branch, and the Education Department at NASA Headquarters in Washington, D.C.
According to National Geographic , Scout wandered into Melvin's yard and he's taken care of him ever since.
Thứ Năm, 29 tháng 1, 2015
An accountant and an economist are walking through a forest...
They encounter a frog.
"I bet you $100 you won't lick it," says the economist The accountant, daring, licks the frog and receives $100.
They walk further, see another frog.
"Lick this frog, and you get your $100 back!" says the accountant. The economist looks at his friend in the eye, licks the frog and retrieves his $100.
"What was the point of this exercise? We've both done something disgusting, and we're no better off!"
"We have grown the local economy by $200!!!" says the economist.
"Yeah but we owe the government $40 each!"
A Wife Comes Home Late
A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband's two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. He says, "Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?"
I installed a new home alarm system I've never felt safer
I've disconnected my home alarm system and de-registered from the Neighborhood Watch.
I've got two Pakistani flags raised in the front yard, one at each corner, and the black flag of ISIS in the center.
The local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching the house 24/7. I've never felt safer and I am saving $49.95 a month.
A Pitbull-Dachshund Mix Exists And No This Is Not A Joke
Pithund. Sausagebull. Cockpit.
Behold. Lay thine eyes upon the mythical Pitbull-Dachschund, a dog that actually exists.
Facebook: Moultrie-Colquitt-County-Humane-Society
His name is Rami. He is adorable.
Facebook: Moultrie-Colquitt-County-Humane-Society
Look at his adorable little tongue.
Facebook: Moultrie-Colquitt-County-Humane-Society
Look at his adorable little feet.
Facebook: Moultrie-Colquitt-County-Humane-Society
Dirty Sailor Joke
A beautiful young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young sailor stopped her. "You have so much to live for," said the sailor. "Look, I'm off to Europe tomorrow and I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy."
With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Europe, the woman accepted. That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches and make love to her until dawn. Three weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.
"What are you doing here?" asked the captain. "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He brings me food and I get a free trip to Europe. Plus he's screwing me." "He certainly is," replied the captain. "This is the Staten Island Ferry."
Complimenting the wife
My wife is standing & looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to give me a compliment.' I replied, 'Your eyesight's perfect.'
Lil Wayne Is Reportedly Suing Cash Money For $51 Million
The rift widens in YMCMB.
After his twitter blow-up in December, and despite a stop-gap mixtape this month, it looks Lil Wayne's fury at Birdman and Cash Money is far from cooling. According to TMZ, Wayne is suing his label and longtime father-figure for $51 million.
Kevin Winter / Getty Images for BET
Now he wants off the label and $51 million in cash, in addition to being declared joint copyright owner on all of Young Money's recordings. Previously, TMZ reported that Wayne wants to take YM artists Drake and Nicki Minaj with him.
Kevin Winter / Getty Images
Is one of hip-hop's most powerful crews succumbing to one of its oldest cautionary tales? As the star artist of another influential label once said: Mo money, mo problems.
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