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Thứ Bảy, 31 tháng 1, 2015
I thought we had something.
I thought we had something. You met my family, made me dinner, called me honey. Now suddenly you're a "waitress" who was "doing her jo...
Two bishops get pulled over by a cop...
Two bishops get pulled over by a cop who says: "We're looking for two child molesters". Bishop one asks him to excuse them for a moment and whispers something to bishop two. After a few seconds, he turns back to the policeman and says: "Okay, we'll do ...
"I'm gonna treat you like I treat my homework"
"Oh, you're going to slam me on your desk and do me all night?""No, I'm going to stare at you and think there's so many better things I could be doing....
Adobe is suing Forever 21 for pirating Photoshop
Adobe is suing Forever 21 for pirating PhotoshopSomeone just got caught shoplifting.January 30, 2015 at 10:03AMvia Digg http://ift.tt/1KdO...
This Is What Happens When You Caption All Of Your Instagrams With Jay Z Lyrics
A Hov lyric for every situation in life.For his last 50 Instagram posts, Wesley Verhoeve paired up Jay Z lyrics with beautifully-filtered photos of snow angels, bodies of water, and other scenes of everyday splendor. instagram.com Today he revealed the meaning behind his seemingly nondescript captions, acknowledging that they were really "Easter eggs." instagram.com A lover of both hip-hop and photography, Verhoeve found a creative way to meld his passions. "I started on a whim right after Christmas and told myself if I could do it for 50 pictures...
Poll: When Did We Reach Peak One Direction?
Which of the boys’ ~looks~ over the years made you swoon the hardest? Besides all of them. Will Varner View Entire List...
Oh My God, Do Not Google The Meaning Behind Nicki Minaj's New Song "Truffle Butter"
Do not do it! You will regret it!This is Nicki Minaj's newest single called "Truffle Butter," it features Drake and Lil Wayne. youtube.com View Entire List...
A man walks into a restaurant in Spain...
He sits down and orders his food. As he is waiting for his meal, a waiter walks by carrying a tray of food. The food smells so good that he immediately flags down another waiter and asks what it was that just passed him by. The waiter says, "ah Señor, those were the testicles of the bull that was slain at todays bullfights." The man, being a culinary adventurer, asks if he may also have this dish. "alas, es imposible," exclaims the waiter, "there is only one pair available per day." The man thanks the waiter, eats his food, and leaves. He comes...
A blonde comes home from school and says
"Mummy, mummy, all the other girls in my class can only count to 10 but I can count to 20. Is it because I'm blonde?"Her mother replies: "Yes dear, it's because you're blonde."The next day the blonde comes home from school and says: "Mummy, mummy, all the other girls in my class can't recite the alphabet, but I can. Is it because I'm blonde?""Yes dear, it's because you're blonde"The next day she comes home and says: "Mummy, mummy, today we were getting changed for gym class and all the other girls had flat chests but I had these."She points to...
The Unluckiest Guy in the world
A huge guy is drinking in a bar with his friend, when suddenly he sees a dude who looks really depressed. He looks at his friend and goes, 'You see the guy that seems to be having a really bad day? Well I'm gonna make his day even worse'. So he walks up to the dude and drinks the glass that was in front of him. The dude suddenly breaks into tears and starts crying hysterically. So the guy is surprised and tries to calm him down: ' Dude relax! I was just messing with you. I'll buy another drink'. The dude wipes off his tears and goes, 'I just had...
There's A Change.org Petition To Make Riff Raff The New Lead Singer Of Blink-182
Has there ever been a more perfect idea? Emmanuel Dunand / Getty Images "We need a talented vocalist to fill the shoes of the late Tom DeLounge. Let us rise and declare Riff Raff new king of the Rock Show. Bless Tom's soul."Riff Raff, best known to BuzzFeed readers as the Justin Timberlake to Katy Perry's Britney, is a rapper/living meme from Houston, TX. He's a Vine star too, and has expressed interest in starting country and rock bands in the past....
Big Sean's New Song With Drake Has A Surprise Verse From Kanye
Waayy-aayy up.Happy Friday! Here's the first can't-miss party jam of 2015, care of Big Sean, Drake, and Kanye West, who shows up at the very end out of nowhere. It's called "Blessings." As you might have guessed, the song is about how #blessed they are, but also hard work and sacrifice. "I done lost homies who been with me since Ed, Edd, n Eddy," Big Sean laments. media.giphy.com #blessed. media.giphy.com View Entire List...
Thứ Sáu, 30 tháng 1, 2015
Somethings You Can't Explain.
So a farmer walks into a bar and orders 15 shots. The bartender asks "why are you getting wasted on such a beautiful day" The farmer replies "Somethings you can't explain." The Bartender asks what happened and the farmer explains, the farmer says "You see I was milking my cow Bessie and once I got a full bucket she kicked it over with her front right leg. So I tied it to a post. I then started to milk her and once I got a full bucket she kicks it with her hind right leg, so I tie that leg to a post. Again I start milking her and once I get a full...
Missy Elliott Is Reportedly Katy Perry's Halftime Surprise
This is not a test! iheartkatyperry.tumblr.com iheartkatyperry.tumblr.com It looks like Katy beat the odds, however, because a source told the Associated Press that Katy's mystery guest will be none other than rap legend Missy Elliott. Andrew H. Walker / Getty Images View Entire List...
14 Animal Cams That Are Better Than TV
Prepare to squee your heart out.The Kitten Rescue Cam What you need to know: Kitten Rescue is based in Los Angeles, CA and can shelter up to 150 kitties at a time.Why you'll never look away: What's better than watching kittens snuggle with each other and get into mischief? But be careful; if you leave the Kitten Rescue cam on too long you might die of cuteness overload.explore.org The Goats Live Cam What you need to know: Goats Live features two...
Was walking by a mental hospital when...
I was walking down the street in front of a mental hospital when I heard a large group of people chanting 14, 14, 14, 14. My curiosity got the better of me so I peered through a small hole in the fence at which point a finger immediately poked me in the eye. After a short round of celebration I then heard the people start chanting 15, 15, 15, ...
An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are trapped underground in a collapsed mine.
After some exploring of the area, they come across three rations of canned food that they all agree will allow them to survive for a few more days. Naturally, they all decide that each of them should have one of the three cans of food; unfortunately, none of them possess anything with which to open them.The engineer promptly begins to throw his can as hard as he can against the wall of the mine, over and over, until it somehow breaks open. He proceeds to devour his meal in satisfaction.Meanwhile, the physicist proceeds to analyze the structure...
The subversive brilliance of Marshawn Lynch
The subversive brilliance of Marshawn LynchLynch may be alone in his actions at the moment, but it seems fairly clear that in following the letter of the NFL's law — showing up to the press conference, and verbalizing an answer to a question — he's demonstrating that he, not Roger Goodell or anyone else, controls the conditions of his labor.January 29, 2015 at 08:58AMvia Digg http://ift.tt/1tsm...
2 Birds, 1 Stone
Nothing more, nothing less. Creative Commons / Flickr: 67662120@N00 Creative Commons / Flickr: 15745225@N00 1 stone. imgur.com wordpress.com View Entire List...
This Week’s Signature Songs, State By State
Here are the songs that defined America from Jan. 20 to Jan. 26, presented by BuzzFeed and Spotify. A state’s “signature song” is not its most popular, but its most distinctive — that is to say, the one that residents of that state streamed proportionally the most as compared with the U.S. as a whole. Chris Ritter / BuzzFeed For the week ending Jan. 26, Mississippi came "Out The Mud" with Kevin Gates, Florida lived Rich Gang's "Lifestyle", Luke Bryan...
Looking Back On Blink-182's Happier Times
“Blink-182 to us is always just been three really close friends having a lot of fun.”Pop Punk Ambassadors Blink-182 officially (?) split this week, with Tom DeLonge's "I'm-not-a-member-but-I-didn't-leave-the-band" departure setting off a media ping-pong match of name calling, accusations, and general vitriol. Bassist Mark Hoppus and drummer Travis Barker will remain together as Blink-182, performing live with Alkaline Trio's lead vocalist Matt Skiba...
One Marine is better than...
A large group of Isis fighters in Iraq are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand dune: "One Marine is better than ten Isis fighters".The Isis commander quickly orders 10 of best men over the dune where a gun battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence.The voice once again calls out: "One Marine is better than one hundred Isis 'S.O.B.'s'".Furious, the Isis commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gun fight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.The voice...
16 Texts I Wish I Could Send My Cat
Not like he’s got anything else going on.This one: BuzzFeed / Erin Chack This one: BuzzFeed / Erin Chack One of these once in awhile: BuzzFeed / Erin Chack This one all the time: BuzzFeed / Erin Chack View Entire List...
9 Disney Animals Who Could Get It
Don’t act like you didn’t think about it.Scar I'm not saying you would be proud of it but I'm saying on the right night, this villain could get it. He's like your worst college mistakes. Would you tell your friends about it? No. Would you regret it? Probably. Will you have a great time? Absolutely.meqhanory.tumblr.com Meeko Listen, listen, listen. Meeko was a good raccoon and all but he was also a sly guy with a mischievous side. He loves biscuits...
A Baker's Dozen Of Cat Loaves
You look loavely today.Purrpernickel Loaf instagram.com A Sliced Sandwhisker Loaf instagram.com Meowrble Rye Loaf instagram.com Pouncetato Loaf instagram.com View Entire List...
22 Questions About Life On Tour With Fall Out Boy
David J. Bertozzi From "Grand Theft Autumn/Where Is Your Boy" to "Thnks fr th Mmrs" these four dudes from Chicago most likely played a crucial role in your teenage pop-punk years. If you spent countless hours standing in the rain at Warped Tour just to see them play, or were a member of their actual fan club Overcast Kids (yes, it existed, and we even got our own membership cards) then you probably panicked in anticipation over their latest album,...
My girlfriend and I were fighting in the car
We glared at eachother and I thought neither of us would back down, but in the end we struck an Acco...
25 Photos So Cute They Will Make You Squeal Every Damn Time
*SQUEALS*OMG hey buddy. instagram.com *gasping* reddit.com Love truly *is* blind, isn't it? *tears up*instagram.com Look how... it's just... resting there... reddit.com View Entire List...
18 Types Of Hangovers Illustrated By Este Haim's Bassface
Only Este’s facial expressions could possibly portray just how bad you feel right now.The "I am never drinking again for as long as I live" hangover. REX USA/Brian Rasic / Rex The "oh no I'm definitely going to puke" hangover. FameFlynetUK/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES The "shhh, no, no, no don't tell me what I did" hangover. Ethan Miller / Getty Images The "I feel so horrifically sorry for myself" hangover. FameFlynetUK/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES View Entire List...
This Astronaut Has The Best Official Portrait You'll Ever See
Meet Leland Melvin, your new favorite spaceman.Melvin has been working for NASA since 1989. He's assigned to the Astronaut Office Space Station Operations Branch, and the Education Department at NASA Headquarters in Washington, D.C.According to National Geographic , Scout wandered into Melvin's yard and he's taken care of him ever since.View Entire List...
Thứ Năm, 29 tháng 1, 2015
An accountant and an economist are walking through a forest...
They encounter a frog."I bet you $100 you won't lick it," says the economist The accountant, daring, licks the frog and receives $100.They walk further, see another frog."Lick this frog, and you get your $100 back!" says the accountant. The economist looks at his friend in the eye, licks the frog and retrieves his $100."What was the point of this exercise? We've both done something disgusting, and we're no better off!""We have grown the local economy by $200!!!" says the economist."Yeah but we owe the government $40 eac...
A Wife Comes Home Late
A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband's two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. He says, "Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hell...
I installed a new home alarm system I've never felt safer
I've disconnected my home alarm system and de-registered from the Neighborhood Watch.I've got two Pakistani flags raised in the front yard, one at each corner, and the black flag of ISIS in the center.The local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching the house 24/7. I've never felt safer and I am saving $49.95 a mon...
A Pitbull-Dachshund Mix Exists And No This Is Not A Joke
Pithund. Sausagebull. Cockpit.Behold. Lay thine eyes upon the mythical Pitbull-Dachschund, a dog that actually exists. Facebook: Moultrie-Colquitt-County-Humane-Society His name is Rami. He is adorable. Facebook: Moultrie-Colquitt-County-Humane-Society Look at his adorable little tongue. Facebook: Moultrie-Colquitt-County-Humane-Society Look at his adorable little feet. Facebook: Moultrie-Colquitt-County-Humane-Society View Entire List...
Dirty Sailor Joke
A beautiful young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young sailor stopped her. "You have so much to live for," said the sailor. "Look, I'm off to Europe tomorrow and I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy."With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Europe, the woman accepted. That night the sailor brought her aboard...
Complimenting the wife
My wife is standing & looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to give me a compliment.' I replied, 'Your eyesight's perfec...
Lil Wayne Is Reportedly Suing Cash Money For $51 Million
The rift widens in YMCMB.After his twitter blow-up in December, and despite a stop-gap mixtape this month, it looks Lil Wayne's fury at Birdman and Cash Money is far from cooling. According to TMZ, Wayne is suing his label and longtime father-figure for $51 million. Kevin Winter / Getty Images for BET Now he wants off the label and $51 million in cash, in addition to being declared joint copyright owner on all of Young Money's recordings. Previously,...
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