How many tumblrinas does it take to change a lightbulb?

You may think that a burnt out bulb needs to change just because the room is too dark for you to see anything, so it must be changed, but I don't care, it's beautiful, you should respect its right to be burnt out and learn to be more accepting of darker rooms, check your filament privileges you ableist scum. Anyone who disagrees with this is a burnt-out-bulbophobe and a darknessphobe. Thanks for being so understanding....

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Headaches.

A man strides into a bar, grinning from ear to ear. He sets down at the bar and orders a beer. "In fact, make that a round on the house." The bar cheers, and the bartender brings him his drink, he asks, "So, why the celebration?" "I am reinventing myself! A new man! Just a month ago, I was miserable. But then..." He laughs. "Then my life changed! I had to put it all behind me. I always wanted to live in California, so I sold everything I had, broke my lease, and moved here. I got an apartment right over there across from the bar, and just today...

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What Song Should You Play On Repeat This Weekend?

Cheers to the freakin’ weekend! Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFee...

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This Hilarious Remix Of The Human League’s “Don’t You Want Me” Is A Thing Of Pure Genius

“You… you were working… you were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar.” H/T Dangerous Minds. The Human League’s 1981 classic tune “Don’t You Want Me” has just been made significantly better. youtube.com YouTube user svantana remixed the track to just repeat the most important line in the song – "You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar" – over and over again. The remix was uploaded at the weekend, with svantana saying: "Sometimes less...

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Remembering Lesley Gore, A Lesbian Icon

Revisit that damned interview with Lesley Gore. It was one of the more ambitious items on my maiden to-do list of 2015. I’d been trying to write a freelance profile of the singer off and on for two years, pursuing different contacts who knew Gore with slight success. As open as she had been about her sexuality in decade-old interviews, few journalists had lately bothered to ask her more about her life as a gay woman. I’d almost lucked out once in...

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Which Jonas Brother Are You?

They’re burnin’ up for you, baby. Mike Coppola / Getty Image...

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This 2008 Hayden Panettiere & Sebastian Stan Music Video Will Teach You How To Keep A Man

Have your phone handy. He needs a “Wake Up Call.” Imagine you're out in the club and you see your man's eye wandering. What do you do? Your man is probably not Captain America's Sebastian Stan, but we can imagine, can't we? Hollywood Records / Via youtube.com Luckily, Hayden Panettiere's short-lived pop career gave us all the answers with the 2008 classic "Wake Up Call." youtube.com Give him a wake up call. If your man does not buy you flowers...

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Diarrhea must be hereditary

Because it runs in your jeans....

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21 Animals On The NatGeo Instagram Confess What's On Their Mind

I sat down with 21 animals from the famous NatGeo Instagram and asked them what’s on their mind. Here is what they had to say. "I've found that if I twist my head like this my neck doesn't look as fat in selfies." instagram.com "Should I get lip injections?" instagram.com "I think I left the stove on?" instagram.com "Did you hear what happened to Cecil?" instagram.com View Entire List ...

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One Direction Release First Single Without Zayn Malik

AND IT’S REALLY DAMN GOOD. In the early hours of the morning, One Direction decided to sneak attack us by randomly dropping their first single off of their forthcoming album. AND WE WERE NOT SPIRITUALLY READY FOR WHAT WAS ABOUT TO COME. liammix.tumblr.com The new track "Drag Me Down" is the first since Zayn Malik's departure four months ago — and, spoiler, IT IS REALLY DAMN GOOD. Columbia Records Sit down, take a deep breath, possibly grab a nearby...

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This Spider’s Mating Dance Is Sexy As Hell

Form an orderly queue, ladies and gents. Meet Maratus personatus: a species of peacock spider that has only recently been discovered. Peacockspiderman / Via youtube.com He lives in coastal bushland near Albany in Western Australia, and the females there cannot get enough of him. Peacockspiderman / BuzzFeed / Via youtube.com They call him “blueface” because of his striking blue mask, which he uses to lure the hearts of unsuspecting female spiders. Peacockspiderman...

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This Compilation Of Dogs Waking Up To The Smell Of Their Favorite Treats Is What Dreams Are Made Of

You wish you could wake up like this every day. #Flawless The Huffington Post put together this magical compilation of pups waking up to the smell of their favorite treats, and now it's the only way you will ever want to be roused from your sweet slumber. View Video › The Huffington Post / Via huffingtonpost.com GOOD MORNING! The Huffington Post / Via huffingtonpost.com Is this real life? The Huffington Post / Via huffingtonpost.com Dreams DO come...

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The train was quite crowded.

A US marine walked the entire length of the train, looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a poodle, owned by a well dressed, middle-aged, French Woman. The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may i have that seat ?' The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular, 'Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.' The Marine walked the length of the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. 'Please, ma'am. May I sit down ? i'm very tired.' She snorted, 'Not only are you Americans rude,...

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A student goes to talk to his professor about his grade.

The student comes up to the professor, "What is this, why did you grade me an 80?" The professor looks at the exam again, "Yep, an 80 is what you deserve" The student takes the exam back, and asks "If I'll bite my own eye, will you give me an 85?" The professor is surprised, but still he agrees, at which point the student then takes out his glass eye - and bites it. The shocked professor then takes the exam back, and marks it 85. The student then says "If I'll bite my nose, will you give me a 90?" The professor is once again shocked, "He can't...

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whats the difference between a woman and a computer?

a woman wont accept a 3 1/2 inch floppy....

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And the Lord said unto John,

"Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster....

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The Cowardly Lion, Aslan, and Cecil are having drinks at a bar ...

They all look worn out so the bartender asks them why they look so beat. The Cowardly Lion goes first and says, "Man, you have no idea what I went through just to get courage." Aslan then chimes in quickly after that and says, "Nonsense, you have no idea what I went through just to get Narnia united." There's a pause so they all look at Cecil. He raises his eyes from his drink and quietly says, "Oh yeah? You have no idea what I went through just to get a cavity filled."...

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My six year old son caught me masturbating this morning

He said, "What are you doing daddy?" "It's called wanking," I replied. "You'll be doing this soon." "Why, daddy?" he asked. "Because my arm is fucking killing me."...

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A little boy walks in on his parents........

A little boy walks in on his parents having sex. The dad, all flustered, tries to explain to him what was going on. -Well, you know how you've always wanted a little brother?....that's what I was doing with mommy. I was putting your little brother inside mommy. The little guy seems content with the explanation, and the dad is quite proud of himself for having thought of it. A couple of weeks later, the dad comes home from work to find the little boy crying on the front steps. -What's wrong buddy...why're you crying? -My baby brother. -What about...

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The 'Top Gear' Hosts Are All Returning... To Amazon

The 'Top Gear' Hosts Are All Returning... To Amazon The former hosts of global TV hit "Top Gear" — Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May — have signed up to present a new car show on Amazon. July 30, 2015 at 07:31PM via Digg http://ift.tt/1U8Pr...

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Dad, what is the difference?

An eleven year old boy comes home from school and tells his Dad, "Dad, I keep hearing the boys at school use the bad words Pussy and Cunt but I don't know what the difference is." Dad: "Go get that Penthouse magazine in my nightstand and I'll show you." The boy runs off to get the magazine and returns breathless. Dad: Opens the magazine to a picture of a nude woman lying on a bed and draws a circle around the Pussy with his pen. "Son, you see that circle? Everything inside that circle is the Pussy." Son: "So what is a Cunt then?" Dad: "Everything...

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A very handsome man gets into a terrible car accident....

The doctors save his life, but he loses one eye. Before a nice glass one can be fitted, he is temporarily given a wooden eye. The man becomes very depressed because of his eye loss and sits at home, moping around. Eventually his friends come over and drag him out to a bar to try and cheer him up. While at the bar, he's still just sitting there looking depressed, not really talking. One of his friends suggests he tries to talk to a cute girl who seems alone at the bar. "No, she'll never go for a man with a wooden eye," the man says. "Okay, how...

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How do you think the unthinkable?

With an itheberg...

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23 Faces That Capture The Essence Of Marching Band Camp

ONE. MORE. TIME. When your director mails you the show music for the season. Nickelodeon When you have to endure the sounds of trumpets and piccolos at the buttcrack of dawn. Nickelodeon When the director tells you to turn your music stands around. Nickelodeon When the band plays the first note of the season. Nickelodeon View Entire List ...

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This Funny Parody Shows You What "Adultz Bop" Would Be Like

“Thanks to ‘Adultz Bop,’ my commute to work has become a commute to twerk!” Soooo, we've all heard of the highly successful "Kidz Bop," where they take popular songs and turn them into kid-friendly versions... like, for instance, here's "Chicken Noodle Soup": Great, right? youtube.com / Via youtube.com But what if there was "Adultz Bop"? Yes, you read that right! This group of parents banded together and created "Adultz Bop," safe hip-hop for parents by parents! It will make your commute to work – a commute to TWERK! youtube.com / Via youtube.com In...

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Here's What Mariah Carey, Katy Perry, And More Look Like As Their Personal Icons

You can see all of these stunning images in the September issue of Harper’s Bazaar. Carine Roitfeld, editor-in-chief of Harper's Bazaar, is incorporating fairies, notable history makers, and legendary performers in the September issue of the fashion magazine. Pascal Le Segretain / Getty Images The photos featured, taken by Jean-Paul Goude, show your favorite celebrities as their own personal icons. Here's Katy Perry as Elizabeth Taylor: Jean-Paul...

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14 Struggles Of Being A Black Country Music Fan

“I don’t see you as the type to listen to that.” You have to deal with questions like “YOU like country music?! Netflix And microaggressive responses like, “Hm. That’s interesting." Bravo / Via realitytvgifs.tumblr.com You have to show restraint when people say they never would’ve pictured you as a country music fan. Oh really? Why is that?? World of Wonder / Logo / Via logotv.tumblr.com You find it exhausting when people assume country music...

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What Country Bros Looked Like When They Released Their First Album

Behold the power of a good haircut. Justin Kahn / WireImage Angela Weiss / Getty Images View Entire List ...

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"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take"

is terrible advice for a recovering alcoholic....

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27 Dogs On Their Way To The Vet

Nobody likes going to the doctor. The Soul-crushing Regret "Why did I excitedly get into the car? Why did I set myself up for failure?" reddit.com / Via imgur.com The Side Eye of Betrayal "And I thought you were my friend." imgur.com The Domino Effect "In twelve seconds this idiot will realize where we are. Twelve, eleven, ten..." imgur.com The Civil Disobedience "I will not fight, but I also will not go." View Entire List ...

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30 Lessons We Learned At Cat Camp

Cat Camp is the best kind of camp! Cat Camp makes you think deeply about cats. And camp. Sami Main and Elaina Wahl / BuzzFeed You can swap stories around the campfire*! *The campfire is made from cat food! Sami Main and Elaina Wahl / BuzzFeed Just try not to tell really scary ones, because your new buds might leave ya. Sami Main and Elaina Wahl / BuzzFeed There are lots of trees to play hide-and-seek with! Sami Main and Elaina Wahl / BuzzFeed View...

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Do You Remember All The Names In Petey Pablo's "Freek-A-Leek"?

Earring in her tongue and she know what to do with it. Who could forget Petey Pablo's hit song "Freek-A-Leek"? If you did, then really take a close look at your life and all the fun that's missing from it. Zomba Recording LLC / youtube.com In the song Pablo rattles off a long list of freaky ladies. Fun fact: Lil' Jon produced the track but it was originally meant for Usher. When he couldn't get the track back he was forced to produce a new one,...

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Which Of Taylor Swift's Exes Should You Date?

It’s a love story baby just say yes. Big Machine Records, LLC...

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1,000 Musicians Covered "Learn To Fly" In The Most Epic Performance Of All Time

“MAKE MY WAY BACK HOME WHEN I LEARN TO FLY.” In an effort to get Dave Grohl's attention, 1,000 musicians including vocalists, drummers, guitarists, and bassists banded together to stunningly sing The Foo Fighters' "Learn to Fly." After a few months of crowdfunding, the Rockin' 1000 was born, and the dream for the Foo Fighters to play in the Italian city of Cesena could become a reality. youtube.com Are you ready for some EPICNESS? youtube.com Orchestra...

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My wife thinks it's seductive to bite her lip.

I haven't the heart to tell her it's supposed to be the bottom one....

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21 Times Dogs Were Too Real

This is what happens when dogs stop being nice and start being…wait, no, still nice. When this dog was honest about his fears during shark week: reddit.com "Sharks can't come on land, right?" reddit.com When this dog enjoyed the view: When this dog just couldn't deal with socializing at the party: imgur.com View Entire List ...

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15 Artists Zayn Malik Needs To Collab With Immediately

Give the people what they want. zaynmalikgifs.com viettoque.tumblr.com View Entire List ...

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