Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

Thứ Hai, 31 tháng 8, 2015

17 Cats Who Are Clearly Just Lions

King of the house jungle. This cat who's got something to say: "Clearly, I am a lion." instagram.com This cat with a mismatched mane: "Still feelin' my look." instagram.com This silent stalker: "Shh...hunting bugs." instagram.com And this king in the trees: "Ready to pounce!" instagram.com View Entire List ...

21 Dogs Who Were The Perfect Ring Bearers

Nobody gets the job done better than these guys! "Today was the ultimate day for me to be a good boy, and I think I nailed it!" instagram.com "Congratulations to ME for a job well done!" instagram.com "I'm basically the star of the show." instagram.com "This outfit really takes things to the next level for me." instagram.com View Entire List ...

11 Korn Videos Better Than Anything You Saw At The VMAs

Arrrrrreeeee youuuu reeeeeaaaaady? "Never Never" (2013) Watered-down, late-era Korn. With dubstep in the bridge. youtube.com "Love & Meth" (2013) I didn't actually watch this one but great title, right? youtube.com "Make Me Bad" (1999) Korn's most expensive video, from the last gasp of the music video era, starring Brigitte Nielsen. youtube.com "Falling Away from Me" (1999) I mean...it won a VMA. youtube.com View Entire List ...

A captain of the Foreign Legion is transferred...

...to a new military station in the middle of the desert. When he gets there, he sees that a camel gets a special treatment: it lives in a nice room, the men gently feed it, etc. "Tell me, why does everyone care about that camel so much?" he asks the sergeant. "Well, you know, so many men confined to the camp for so long, without any women... so when in need, we use the camel." "Well, that's weird enough, but if it doesn't affect the morale, I guess it's fine." After six tough months, the captain feels the need, too. He tells the sergeant: "Sergeant,...

How Wheels On the Buses Will Stop North Korea

Total travel the perfect time to and from Wheels on the bus: about some hours. "The first day I attended school, I was like, do I really need to do this? " Freeman, 18, said. But the ride easily became routine, and now Freeman doesn't hesitate to shoot down the notion of trading the two-hour holiday to the science and technology magnet school for that 10 minutes it would take him to go to his local high school. It used to be that students with...

Do "U Got It Bad," According To Usher?

Does your love have the Usher stamp of approval? Do you need to confirm your results? youtube.com Thumbnail image Frank Micelotta / Getty Image...

The next iPhone won't be a failure

In fact, it'll be a huge 6S....

Are You An Introvert Or Extrovert?

Which of these pups describes you best? BuzzFeed Yellow / Via youtu.b...

16 Photos That Are Way Too Real For People Who Hate Spiders

Warning: contains many pictures of creepy-crawlies. All of them taken in Britain, so you’ll never feel safe again #sorrynotsorry. View Entire List ...

Two gay men are travelling...

...on a plane. Let's call them Steve and Bill. "Dude, what if we had sex?" asks Steve. "You crazy? Here, on the plane? It would be awkward, everyone would watch us doing it..." "Man, nobody is even paying attention to anything. Look!" Steve stands up and asks loudly: "Could I have a pencil, please?" Nobody gives a damn. Everyone is sleeping, reading, looking out the window, etc. "They really wouldn't care then, would they?" says Bill. So Steve and Bill have wild sex on the plane. Later, when the plane arrives to the airport and the people are...

3-Ingredient Gourmet Cat Food

It’s the purr-fect treat. BuzzFeed Video / Via youtu.b...

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 8 and 9 died in a double homicide and 7 is the prime suspect....

It Did What? 15 Secrets About Video for Cats

The internet offers loads of leisure that is certainly very true whenever you take a look at humorous cat videos for cats. They're going to have you rolling and many other of them you will want to watch time in addition to again again. Too typically folks realize cats as purely mendacity round as well as doing nothing. So it will be very magical to allow them to see these creatures in motion and doing little weird factors. Some of these types...

I once installed a sky light in my apartment.

Boy were my upstairs neighbors pissed....

I'm in a band that dresses up in alligator costumes and tells cheesy jokes.

We're a Pun Croc band....

The Boss calls his secretary..

The boss calls his female secretary & says:"Get ready for the weekend, We are going on a business trip." The secretary calls husband & says:"Me & my boss are going on a business trip for 2 days so takecare of urself" The husband calls his girlfriend & says:"My wife is going on a business trip, come home we can have fun" The girlfriend calls the boy to whom she gives tuition: "No tuition this weekend." The boy calls his father:"Dad, at last we can spend this weekend together." Dad (The boss) calls his secretary & says:"Business...

A little boy and his grandfather

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole." The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. The boy then proceeds to put the worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little...

13 Instantly Iconic Moments From Demi Lovato's VMAs Performance

Spoiler alert: Demetria Devonne slayed. Demi Lovato performed at the Video Music Awards for the first time Sunday night and — surprise, surprise — she totally slayed. (It was not, in any way, a surprise.) Frederick M. Brown / Getty Images She started the performance by feeling herself up. MTV And then she ditched her faux-fur coat to stay ~cool for the summer~. MTV She followed that up by disposing of her glasses in the sexiest way possible. MTV View...

A man has Super Bowl tickets

A man and his new wife make a pact to go to every Super Bowl. After 43 years the wife passes away, but the man continues their tradition and goes to the next super bowl. Another man sitting in the same row sees the empty seat next to the man and asks "why is this seat empty? It's the super bowl?" And the man replies "well it was my wife's seat but she passed away" and the other asks " well did you not want to invite anyone else?, any family?" And the man responds "I did but nobody would come with me" and the other remarks, "man that's tough your...

Here's Every Insane Thing Miley Cyrus Wore At The VMAs

Kind of crazy, no? Suspenders, nips, and tongue. Mark Ralston / AFP / Getty Images Your mom drinking a few too many margs at the neighborhood FIESTA. Kevork Djansezian / Getty Images BALLS and/or Easter M&Ms. Kevork Djansezian / Getty Images New Adventures In Cutouts. Kevork Djansezian / Getty Images View Entire List ...

21 Things Celebrities Looked Like At The 2015 MTV VMAs

As expected, celebrities made some ~questionable~ outfit choices at this year’s show. Jason Merritt / Getty Images Gaumont View Entire List ...

Rebel Wilson's Face When Nicki Minaj Called Miley Cyrus Out Is Hilarious AF

Rebel Wilson channeled how everyone in America felt. In case you missed it, Nicki Minaj dragged Miley Cyrus on live television at this year's VMAs. Minaj called Miley out after the singer made comments about the rapper being "not too kind" earlier in the week. MINAJ. WENT. THERE. ? MTV But can we please discuss Rebel Wilson's hilarious O-face during that tense moment?! MTV MTV View Entire List ...

Nicki Minaj Just Called Miley Cyrus Out At The VMAs

WHAT IS GOING ON?! OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. MTV WHAT IS HAPPENING CAN'T STOP SCREAMING. Rebel's face like "Holycrapholycrapholycrap, I thought I was crazy but rappers be CRAY." MTV OH, NICKI IS COMING FOR YOU, MILEY. I'm pretty sure that stare could slice you like a stick of butter. MTV View Entire List ...

Taylor Swift's "Wildest Dreams" Music Video Is Old Hollywood Perfection

Cause of death: SLAYLOR SWIFT. Swifties across the globe: the time has finally come. The "Wildest Dreams" music video that we've been waiting, dreaming, and hoping for just premiered at the MTV VMAs Pre-Show and IT IS TRULY EVERYTHING. instagram.com They lit'rally got outta this town, drove out of the city, away from the crowds. tayloralisonswft.tumblr.com Taylor stands in a nice dress and stares at the sunset. And looks flawless af in her movie...

Here's What Everyone Wore To The 2015 MTV VMAs

Check back throughout the night for updates! Miley Cyrus Christopher Polk / Getty Images Taylor Swift Larry Busacca / Getty Images The Weeknd Frazer Harrison / Getty Images Wale Jason Merritt / Getty Images View Entire List ...

These Are The Vine Stars Taking Over MTV's Account For The VMAs

A quick primer on the most famous people you may never have heard of. MTV's Video Music Awards are tonight, and the network is trying something new. In addition to the Miley Cyrus-curated show, MTV is making a play for a young audience on another platform — Vine. MTV is using the six-second video network for a second screen experience, and Vine's biggest stars are being enlisted to make it happen. Among a certain set, Vine stars are the new Beatles. Or at least, One Direction. Yet for most people, they're completely famous and totally unknown....

Couples Describe Their Relationships With Rap Music

If we were a rap duo, we’d be Kid N’ Play. BuzzFeed Yellow / Via youtu.b...

The 17 Most Underrated Beyoncé Songs

It’s not easy being ***Flawless, but this playlist of Queen Bey’s slept-on hits will help you get there. "Freakum Dress" Album: B'Day Why it's good: This song is the ultimate hype track before a night out. Not feelin' your look when you first take a glance in the mirror? Put on "Freakum Dress" and hit a lil' twerk for yourself. You'll be singing a new tune in no time. Sample lyric: "Soon as you saw me, turned on by how the dress was fitting right /...

Can You Match The VMA "Best New Artist" To The Year They Won?

Now known as “Artist To Watch....

9 Of The Worst VMA Video Of The Year Winners Of All Time

How did some of these even get nominated? Britney Spears – "Piece of Me" (2008) The "Piece of Me" video isn't that bad on its own. The problem is "Piece Of Me" isn't anywhere near as good as the Britney videos that didn't win the top prize. Seriously, the pop star has had so many pop culture-defining videos, and "Piece of Me" is the only one to win Video of the Year?! It's just sad. Considering that genuinely iconic clips like "...Baby One More Time," "I'm A Slave 4 U," "Toxic," and "Me Against The Music" failed to win a Moonman for Video Of The...

35 Pictures That Prove The 2005 VMAs Were The Best VMAs

People used to wear dresses over jeans like it was NBD, bruh. Host Sean "P. Diddy" Combs wore so much white. Kevin Winter / Getty Images This was Kanye's ~lewk~. Evan Agostini / Getty Images Two-thirds of Green Day kept their sunglasses on. Evan Agostini / Getty Images These two. What even. Evan Agostini / Getty Images View Entire List ...

26 Iconic VMA Performances You'll Remember Forever

In the midst of one of the craziest award shows of the year, let’s remember the greats. Britney Spears - "I'm A Slave 4 U," 2001 VMAs A true goddess walked among us that day, and still walks among us today. We were blessed with this snake performance, and the world WILL NEVER FORGET. youtube.com Justin Timberlake - Vanguard Award Performance, 2013 In a single moment, the entire world collectively sobbed at the glorious reunion of NSYNC. And JT was serving dance moves for days. youtube.com Mariah Carey - "Shake It Off" / "We Belong Together,"...

Which Zayn Malik Hairstyle Are You Based On Your Zodiac?

Whatever you get is a win-win...

Miley Cyrus Just Released A 23-Song Album For Free

Miley Cyrus And Her Dead Pets is available now! Forget the VMAs, Miley Cyrus just dropped two full albums worth of material for free! The pop star has been teasing the release for months, telling Paper magazine that she was working on some "avant-garde" new music and Marie Claire that she wanted her next album to be available to fans for free. Kevork Djansezian / Getty Images Titled Miley Cyrus And Her Dead Pets the 23-song project was released...

Been chatting and flirting with this 14 year old chick

Now she tells me she's an undercover cop. How freakin' cool is that for someone her age....

Vanessa Hudgens' Dress Confirms That The VMAs Are Basically Formal Coachella

How has nobody noticed this before? Christopher Polk / Getty Images Theo Wargo / Getty Images View Entire List ...

(NSFW) What do a girl's asshole and a 9 volt battery have in common?

You know it's wrong, but eventually you have to put your tongue on it....

What Are the Worst Airports in the World?

What Are the Worst Airports in the World? The most hated and most loved — well, tolerated — airports. August 30, 2015 at 11:29PM via Digg http://ift.tt/1Q1xK...

Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work....

What's a gay man's favorite planet?

Earth, most likely. Unless he's personally interested in space exploration, in which case he might say Mars....

What do you call sex with a french midget?

Bone a petite...

A feminist visited a Muslim country and was unhappy with the treatment of women there...

All of the Muslim men made their wives walk at least five feet behind them. The visiting feminist was outraged, "How could you be so sexist? This is an outrage!" She left the country, only to return years later. Much to her surprise, all of the women were walking five feet ahead of their husbands. The feminist couldn't believe it. "What changed? Why are you so progressive now?" One of the men overheard and said with a smile... "land mines."...

Things That Very Well Could Happen At This Year’s VMAs

… and we made a Bingo game out of it so you can play along. Remember this? MTV / Via Giphy AND THIS? MTV / Via breatheheavy.com Sit back, relax, and enjoy our predictions! MTV / Via gossiponthis.com View Entire List ...

Hooker

A guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and a knockout looking hooker catches his eye. He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks the hooker, "How much do you charge?" Hooker replies, "It starts at $500 for a hand-job." Guy says, "$500 dollars! For a hand-job! Jesus Christ! No hand-job is v worth that kind of money!" The hooker says, "Do you see that Denny's on the corner?" "Yes." "Do you see the Denny's about a block further down?" "Yes." "And beyond that, do you see that third Denny's?" "Yes." "Well," says the hooker, smiling invitingly,...

Why didn't blacks in 1850 give high-fives?

Because everyone always left them hanging!...

Chủ Nhật, 30 tháng 8, 2015

What's the difference between a coal mining company and catholic priests?

A coal mining company puts miners in shafts....

[NSFW] What's long, cylindrical, hard, full of semen and can make a woman scream?

The sock under your bed....

Can You Remember What Year Classic VMA Moments Happened?

MTV have been doing this show a looooooong time...

Why Holden Caulfield Thinks Wheels On the Buses are Phony

Total travel time to and from Wheels on the bus song for baby: about some hours. "The first day I went along to school, I was like, do I really need to do this? " Freeman, eighteen, said. But the ride quickly became routine, and now Freeman doesn't hesitate to shoot down the notion of trading the two-hour visit to the science and technology magnet school for your 10 minutes it would take him to go to his local high school. It used to be that...

Religion and squirrels

There were four churches and a synagogue in a small town: a Presbyterian church, a Baptist church, a Methodist church, a Catholic church and a Jewish synagogue. Each church and the synagogue had a problem with squirrels.The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will. At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and...

I should make a monument in my yard dedicated to the guy who killed Hitler.

No text fou...

Avril Lavigne Joined Taylor Swift On Stage And Resolved Their Feud

There’s clearly no bad blood between these pop princesses. So naturally we all rolled up our sleeves for a new Twitter feud to start... Big Machine View Entire List ...

So I saw that the new dinosaur in Jurassic Park is a hybrid

Guess that makes it Priustoric...

Two old friends meet in bar...

[translated from Turkish] -Hey Jack! How have you been! It's been months! -Bonjour Monsieur ! Indeed, it's been a while -"Bonjour Monsieur"? What's this French? -Mais biensur ! -Don't screw with me Jack. I know you don't know French. We both went to the same school and we never had any French lessons!! -No, no! I'm learning via the radio. 99.3 FM. Every day at 10AM you have French lessons. Very easy, I suggest you try. -Oh, ok, cool I'll give a try tomorrow. Next morning he calls Jack: -Yo Jack, I have those old radios with a needle for tuning....

Husband and wife go to a club

They notice a guy on the dance floor giving everyone a show. He's breakdancing, moon walking and even throwing in a few backflips. The wife turns to the husband and says, "see that guy on the dance floor? He proposed to be 25 years ago and I turned him down!" Husband says "Yeah looks like he's still celebrating!"...

What do you call a fight between a mexican and a pedophile?

Alien VS Predator...

I hope Jeb Bush wins the primaries

Then takes Dick Cheney as his running mate. There campaign slogan would be "same dick, new bush."...

A man is in the hospital for stomach problems when he suddenly gets diarrhea and shits in bed.

Panicking, the man folds the sheet with the poo and throws it out the window. The sheet lands on a man walking by. The man wrestles a little with the sheet and the poop comes flowing out. Another man walks by and asks him what he's doing. "Damn,you'll never believe me," he replies. "But I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost!!...

French rifle for sale.

Never fired. Dropped twice....

Viagra now comes in a nasal spray.

It's for dick heads....

Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?

He needed space....

A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks ...

'Excuthe me, do you have any widdle wabbits?' The shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level, and says, 'Do you want a widdle white wabbit or a thoft, fwuffy bwack wabbit, or one like that widdle bwown wabbit over there?' The little girl blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and whispers ... 'I don't weally fink my pyfon gives a phuk!!.....

What do Bill Cosby and Santa Claus have in common?

They both come when you're alseep....

A couple wants to have a quickie...

...but their son is in the house. So they tell him to go out on the balcony and tell them what's going on in the neighborhood while they do their thing. He proceeds to the balcony and begins reporting what he sees. "Looks like the Jeffersons got a new dog." he said. "Oh! And the Alans are moving out." he exclaimed. "Look at that. Looks like the Johnsons are having sex." The couple stops dead. "How do you know the Johnsons are making love?" said the boys father. After a short pause he replies, "Becase their kid is out on the balcony."...

How the Ballpoint Pen Changed Handwriting

How the Ballpoint Pen Changed Handwriting Thicker ink, fewer smudges, and more strained hands. August 29, 2015 at 11:02PM via Digg http://ift.tt/1VhTI...

Jesus has been living in my heart for years...

...and I still haven't received one rent check! No wonder they call him king of the Jews......

A mugged turtle..

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”...

I witnessed an attempted murder earlier...

Luckily only one crow showed up......

Why does West Virginia have so many unsolved murders?

There are no dental records and all the DNA is the same....

21 Times Willow Smith Mystified Your Life On Instagram

*Mystic managed* When she channeled her inner Einstein. instagram.com When was an ethereal desert goddess. instagram.com When she showed us what the world would be like if water came from a different universe. instagram.com When she found peace in this tree. instagram.com View Entire List ...

This Is The Best Michael Jackson Tribute You'll Watch Today

Singer Jade Novah paid tribute to the King of Pop with a beautiful medley of his hits on what would have been his 57th birthday. Today, Michael Jackson, aka the King of Pop, would've celebrated his 57th birthday. Unfortunately, Jackson passed away in June of 2009. Although he is gone, fans of the superstar still find ways to show their appreciation for his work. Last week, the world was blown away by Jade Novah's impeccable impersonation of Beyoncé, and her jaw-dropping singing talent. But Novah is a huge fan of Jackson, too. "Michael Jackson...

Can You Complete The Lyrics To These Karaoke Classics?

“Just a small town girl…...

22 Times Liam Payne Made Us Exceptionally Grateful

Happy 22nd birthday to the man of our dreams. When he auditioned for The X-Factor UK and blessed us with his sweet, angelic voice. ITV When he *literally* woke up like this, and slayed us all. instagram.com The time he proved he'd be perfect for the next Jurassic Park. instagram.com View Entire List ...

59 People Taylor Swift Will Probably Invite On Stage In Australia

Please welcome to the stage, my mate… Mat Whitehead / Getty Images / Thinkstock 1. Delta Goodrem. 2. Jess Mauboy. 3. Kylie Minogue. 4. Ruby Rose. 5. The Veronicas. 6. Miranda Kerr. 7. Gabriella Cilmi and Vanessa Amorosi. 8. Rebel Wilson. 9. Bindi Irwin. 10. Olivia Newton John. 11. Dame Edna. 12. Monica Trapaga. 13. Daryl Somers and Ossie Ostrich. 14. Bert Newton and Burgo. 15. Karl Stefanovic and Lee Lin Chin. 16. Mr Clicketty Cane. 17. Plucka Duck. 18....

How Well Do You Remember Ashlee Simpson's "Shadow"?

Relive some iconic emotions. And now that you've obviously won this game, relive the greatness. youtube.co...

Vance Joy On 14 Dating Dealbreakers

Vance Joy and Jenna Williams for BuzzFeed If you don't know the name Vance Joy, that's going to change real soon. Not only is the handsome Aussie the voice of hits like "Riptide," "Mess is Mine," and new single "Fire and the Flood," he's been traveling the world as the opening act on Taylor Swift's epic 1989 tour. Since he's in Los Angeles to attend the Video Music Awards — he's nominated for Artist to Watch, which you can vote for here — Vance...