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Chủ Nhật, 1 tháng 3, 2015

This post is going nowhere fast.

http://ift.tt/1E2SbxT


one of my favorite offensive jokes

http://ift.tt/1aDisrO


A man went to a doctor to have his penis enlarged


The highly unusual and somewhat risky procedure, known as an elephantaplasm, involved grafting a baby elephant’s trunk on to the end of the patient’s member.


The operation, however, was apparently a success. Overjoyed, the man went out with his girlfriend to celebrate at a very fancy restaurant.


To his horror, after preliminary cocktails, the man’s penis crept out of his pants, felt around the table, grabbed a bread roll and quickly disappeared under the tablecloth.


The girlfriend was startled and exclaimed,“What was that?”


Suddenly, the penis reappeared, took another bread roll and just as quickly shot back under the tablecloth.


The girlfriend sat in stunned silence for a moment, then finally said, “I don’t believe I saw what I think I just saw . . . can you do that again?”


The man smiled uncomfortably and replied, “I’d like to, unfortunately I don’t think my arse can take another crusty roll.”



At my favorite Burrito place...

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As a grown-up and movie-fan, I really appreciated this running gag in "Penguins of Madagascar."

http://ift.tt/1EzVEV9


Have you heard about the Oscar Pistorius drinking game?


Every time your girlfriend goes to the bathroom, you take 5 shots.