The State of Vermont official logo ladies and gents... I can't make this stuff up.

http://ift.tt/1Fmiejm

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Why did the archaeologist ask a diamond out to dinner?

Because of his enthusiasm for Carbon-Dating.

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Just want to upgrade..

http://ift.tt/1qWaxvu

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Even I am embarrassed by myself

http://ift.tt/1bRNNrj

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Got a rental, it seems to confuse a lot of people.

http://ift.tt/1IVWRq1

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I wish we were a couple like Justin and Selena...

"I wish we were a couple like Justin and Selena," I said to my girlfriend.

"Get with it," she said, "they've split up."

"OK, then Heidi and Seal."

"They've split up too!"

"OK, then like Justin and Britney."

"They split up 10 years ago!"

"Hmm," I said, "you're not fucking getting it, are you?"

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I come from a family of failed magicians

I have 2 half sisters

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