Which is just under $15 US
Thứ Hai, 4 tháng 5, 2015
The Pope had become very ill and was taken to many doctors...
..who were all quite skilled in the latest medical techniques. None of them could figure out how to cure him, or even what ailed him.
Finally, a wise old physician was brought in. After an hour he came out and told the cardinals that the bad news was that the Pope had a difficult disorder of the testicles ---terminal blue balls. He said that the good news was that all the Pope had to do to be cured was to have sex a couple of times.
Well, of course this was not good news to the cardinals, who argued about it at length. Finally they went to the Pope himself with the doctor and explained the situation.
After some thought, the Pope stated, "I reluctantly agree, but only under four very strict conditions."
The cardinals were amazed and there arose quite an uproar. Over all of the noise there came a single voice that asked, "And what are the four conditions?" The room immediately stilled.
The Pope replied, "First, the girl must be blind, so that she cannot see with whom she is having sex. Second, she must be deaf, so that she cannot hear with whom she is having sex. And third, she must be mute so that if she somehow figures it all out, she can tell no one."
After another long pause, a voice finally asked, "And the fourth condition?"
The Pope replied, "Big tits!"
A nice Scottish lad moves to New York.
After 6 months his mom calls him and she asks how he finds the Americans. Horrible, he says. They always yell and scream. He hates how they pound on the walls and stomp the floors. Oh pure! she says, how do you get by?
I just relax in bed, playing me bagpipes, says the lad.
Two gay men and two lesbians are having sex when the house catches on fire. Who gets out first and why?
The gay men, their shit is already packed.
Edit: I'm not homophobic, just a joke my 50 year old dad told me. Different times and all that. Still funny imho.
Two engineers are meeting for lunch
Two engineers are meeting for lunch. The second arrives on a bicycle that the first doesn't recognize.
"Where did you get the bike? " the first asks.
The second explained, "It was the weirdest thing. I was walking over here when a beautiful woman rode up on the bike, hopped off, tore off all her clothes and said 'take what you want!' So I took the bike."
"Good call," mused the first, "the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
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