List of the most offensive jokes I know.

What are some of the most offensive jokes you guys know?

• Whats better then winning silver at the special olympics? Not being retarded

• Whats better then winning silver at the paralympics? Walking

• Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they

• Why are black people so good at basketball? They can run shoot and steal

• What do you call a group of black men running down a hill? A prision break

• So Hellen Keller walks into a bar a table and a chair.

• Why was Hitler not invited to the barbecue? He always burns the franks

• What do you call a black priest? Holy shit

• Whats the last thing to go through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers? Their feet

• Why is there no black guy in the game clue? Because it would have to be renamed to solved

• What do Jewish people ahte most about the Holocaust? The caust

• What do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common? Their last big hit was the wall

• Whats the worst part of running 100m in under 10 seconds? Being black

• What do you call a flying Jew? Smoke

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FYI, Kygo Is The Norwegian DJ You Need In Your Life Right Now

As long as you like fresh-as-hell-beats, that is!

Are you a fan of chilling out at the beach, enjoying an ice-cold bevvy, and generally having a good time? WELL HAVE I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU.

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Or rather, someone: Kygo (real name: Kyrre Gørvell-Dahll), a Norwegian DJ/producer who specializes in vibey, luscious, tropical jams.

If you haven't heard of him or his music...you need to change that ASAP.

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But Kygo is more than just your run-of-the-mill twentysomething trying to make a living as a DJ!

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He looks like he was spit out of some college frat house, but boy's got TALENT.

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What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?

I wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face.

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Highlands woman held hostage asks for help in online pizza order - WFLA News Channel 8

Highlands woman held hostage asks for help in online pizza order - WFLA News Channel 8
A quick-thinking Florida woman saved herself and her children from possible harm when she ordered an online pizza with a secret message saying she was being held hostage.

May 6, 2015 at 10:55PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/1JpViRh

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There were two sisters

There were two sisters named Petal and Fridge.

One day Petal was curious and asked her father, "Why was I named Petal?"

His response was, "Well, when you were a baby a flower petal fell on you."

Then Fridge says, "BLARGHHHALHGLAHG".

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Why Are These Corgis So Scared Of A Giant Zucchini?

An investigation.

Redditor mtglilianavess posted a photo of their two pet corgis being frightened by a large homegrown zucchini:

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In the midst of the NHL Playoffs, here is my first r/Jokes submission.

It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."

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