Thứ Sáu, 8 tháng 5, 2015

When the Baltimore rioters looted the CVS, they stole everything except for the Father's Day cards.

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NSA's Bulk Collection Of Americans' Phone Data Is Illegal, Appeals Court Rules

NSA's Bulk Collection Of Americans' Phone Data Is Illegal, Appeals Court Rules
The National Security Agency's practice of collecting data about Americans' telephone calls in bulk goes beyond what Congress intended when it wrote Section 215 of the USA Patriot Act, a federal appeals court ruled on Thursday.

May 7, 2015 at 10:17PM
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A piano player walks into a bar...

06:24 Jokes No comments

A piano player walks into a bar and says to the manager "I saw your sign 'Piano player needed' and I'm your man, I write all my own material." "Play me a tune." said the manager. The piano player's song was so catchy that it had the manager stomping his feet. "That was great!" the manager said, "What do you call that one?" "I call it 'Your Sister is a Dirty Fucking Whore!'" said the piano player. "Well" said the manager "that's an unusual name for a song. Let's hear another one." The piano player's song was so beautiful that it brought tears to the manager's eyes . "Now, what do you call this one?" said the manager. "I call it 'Let me Fuck you in the Ass Until your Hemorrhoids Bleed.'" said the piano player. The manager replied, "Your playing is great, and I'd like to hire you, but don't mention the names of your songs to any of the patrons, okay?" The piano player agreed. That evening, the crowd went wild when the piano player did his first set. When he could finally take a break, he rushed to the john for a long overdue piss. In his rush to get back, he forgot to zip his pants up. As he made his way back to the piano, one of the patrons stopped him and said, "Do you know your fucking dick is hanging out of your pants?" The piano player exclaimed "Know it?! I wrote it!"

An armless man dreams of being a bell ringer

05:37 Jokes No comments

There was once a man with no arms, who dreamed of becoming the bell ringer at the local church. One morning, he was feeling confident, and went to speak to the priest. The priest was flabbergasted at the armless man's request.

"But, sir," the priest said, "I don't mean to be rude, but with no arms...how could you possibly be a bell ringer?"

The armless man beckoned the priest to follow him up to the bell tower. He got into position, winked at the priest, reared his body back, and smacked his head into the bell, which let out a resounding "DOOOOONG." Amazed, the priest immediately gave the armless man the job.

The man with no arms was elated. For weeks, he went to work, smacked his head into the bells when needed, and felt whole. One day, a tad over-zealous with his bell-ringing, the armless man reared back too far and ended up falling out of the bell tower. He hit the ground hard, and died instantly. A crowd formed around his body, and a women got down on her knees to take the armless man's head into her arms.

"Who is he? Who is this man?" She cried. A man stepped out from the crowd.

"I don't know," said the man, "but his face rings a bell."