What kind of weed do reptiles smoke?

Mariguana.

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What did the physicist say to the man about to jump off a building?

"Don't do it! You have so much potential!"

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Psyciatrist vs Bartender

Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night.

So I went to a psychiatrist and told him. . . 'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed

I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared.. I think I'm going crazy.'

'Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' said the psychiatrist.

'Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears..'

How much do you charge?'

$600 per visit,' replied the expert.

'I'll sleep on it,' I said.

Six months later, he met me on the street.

'Why didn't you ever come to see me about those fears you were having?' he asked.

'Well, $600 a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money!

A bartender cured me for $20. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought myself a new car!'

'Is that so?' With a bit of an attitude he said, 'and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?'

'He told me to cut the legs off the bed! Ain't nobody under there now!'

FORGET THOSE LEARNED DOCTORS...

GO HAVE A DRINK & TALK TO YOUR BARTENDER.

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What is 6.9?

A great thing ruined by a period.

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People say filling animals with helium is wrong

but i say, whatever floats your goat.

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Cuba Has a Lung Cancer Vaccine—And America Wants It

Cuba Has a Lung Cancer Vaccine—And America Wants It
Cuba has for several years had a promising therapeutic vaccine against lung cancer. The 55-year trade embargo led by the US made sure that Cuba was mostly where it stayed. Until — maybe — now.

May 11, 2015 at 11:24PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/1IwUZFN

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Did you hear about the woodworker who died when he fell into a vat of varnish?

It was a terrible end, but a beautiful finish.

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