Mars: Come over
NASA: You're 33.9 million miles away
Mars: I'm wet
NASA: I'm coming over
Thứ Năm, 1 tháng 10, 2015
A husband and his wife were always fighting each other.
When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night.
The woman would shout - 'When I die, I will dig my way up, out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life..'
Neighbours feared her and the woman liked the fact that she was feared..
To everyone's relief, she died of a heart attack when she was 58. Her husband had a closed casket at the wake..
After the burial, he went straight to the local bar and began to party, as if there was no tomorrow. His neighbours, concerned for his safety, asked - 'Aren't you afraid that she may indeed be able to dig her way up and out of the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life??'
The husband put down his drink and said - 'Let her dig. I had her buried upside down..'
In the Navy.
The crusty Navy Master Chief noticed a new face and barked at him, "Get over here! What's your name, sailor?"
"John," the new seaman replied.
"Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap they're teaching sailors in boot camp these days, but I don't call anyone by his first name," the chief scowled.
"It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my sailors by their last names only; Smith, Jones, Baker, Jackson, whatever.
And you are to refer to me as 'Chief.’ Do I make myself clear?"
"Aye, Aye, Chief!"
"Now that we've got that straight, what's your last name?"
The seaman sighed. "Darling, My name is John Darling, Chief."
"Okay, John, here's what I want you to do ...."
Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench...
A man wearing a long raincoat approaches, opens it and flashes them.
Two of the ladies immediately have a stroke. The third couldn't reach.
It was early morning at the military base...
... and the first sergeant was calling out names for the daily work parties listed on a piece of paper:
"Ames"
"Here!"
"Jenson"
"Here!"
"Jones"
"Here!"
"Magersky"
"Here!"
"Seeback"
No answer.
"Seeback!"
No answer was heard again.
"SEEBACK!!!" The troops remained totally silent.
At that point, someone whispered into the first sergeant's ear. He looked again at what the last name really said, quickly turned over the list and continued calling the names printed on the other side.
A Mountain Lion Just Climbed A Utility Pole In California And Stayed There
NBD.
With the deployment of remote cameras in the mountainous forest lands that spread throughout the greater Los Angeles area, the local mountain lion population has even gained celebrity status.
Practically every major development gets a rush of press coverage, like when these cubs were discovered in the Santa Monica Mountain range.
National Park Service
Or when they were spotted in the Hollywood Hills doing what big cats do.
Including this majestic National Geographic photograph of a mountain lion prowling below the Hollywood sign.
National Park Service
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