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Thứ Sáu, 4 tháng 12, 2015

Don't do drugs

... Two guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge.

The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and persuade them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday." Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one,

"How did you do over the weekend?"

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."

"17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?"

"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: O o and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs."

"That's admirable," said the judge. "And you, how did you do?" (to the 2nd guy)

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever."

"156 people! That's amazing! How did you manage to do that!"

"Well, I used the same two circles. I pointed to the small circle and told them, 'This is your asshole before prison....'"

18 Animals Who Seem Fake But OK

Not saying they’re not real, just saying they’re suspicious.

The Muskox

The Muskox

Muskoxen look like they belong on a desert planet in Star Wars. What are they doing here on Earth? Nobody knows. They have lots of secrets; that's why their hair is so big.

Flickr: 92416586@N05

VictorTyakht / Thinkstock


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These Are The 15 Artists Spotify Thinks Will Break Big Next Year

Here’s what you should be listening to now, before they get too big.

Every year, Spotify analyzes the listening habits of its 75 million users and predicts what you're going to be listening to next year. It's called the Spotlight list, and it combines listening data with further selection from Spotify's music curation team, and the algorithm that powers its "Viral" charts.

Here's an exclusive look at the streaming service's list for 2016.

Parson James, best known for a collaboration with electronic sensation Kygo, calls his music "conflicted pop gospel."

Parson James, best known for a collaboration with electronic sensation Kygo, calls his music "conflicted pop gospel."

Parson James / Via Facebook: iamparsonjames

Troye Sivan is already one of the most influential teens in the world, according to Time, for his YouTube channel, but over the past year he's established himself as a burgeoning pop star.

Instagram: @troyesivan


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How Well Do You Remember The Lyrics To "Part Of Your World"?

“I don’t see how a world that makes such wonderful things… Could be bad?”

Disney


Spotify Canada Predicts Music's Biggest Stars Of 2016

The new year sounds incredibly bright.

Another year, another pool of talented and promising homegrown Canadian musicians.

Another year, another pool of talented and promising homegrown Canadian musicians.

Spotify Canada

Canadians have dominated the charts in 2015, and judging by the latest roster, it looks to be no different in the coming year.

This past year's "Spotlight" predictors gave deserved shine to artists like Francesco Yates, Coleman Hell, and Alessia Cara, helping to catapult their careers and sounds to a mass global audience.

Ria Mae

Ria Mae

Sony Music Entertainment


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Olympic Condoms. (NSFW)

A man was shopping in a nearby supermarket when he noticed a package that said "Olympic Condoms". He bought it, and told his wife about it.

" - Olympic Condoms? What's so special about them?"

" - They have 3 colors: Gold, Silver and Bronze."

" - And what color are you going to wear tonight?"

" - Gold, obviously!"

" - Why not Silver? It'd be great if you came second, for a change."

Awful pun I came up with whilst drunk last night.

Who is the Australian Frankesntein's favourite singer?

Rihanna, mate.