What's the difference between your wife and your job?

After five years your job will still suck.

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Facebook acquires Reddit in a 3.7 billion dollar deal

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I just hit a tree driving in a Mini.

You would think a tree wouldn't drive such a small car.

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You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles.

If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?

Dr.Dre

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What does smoking a cigarette and eating a pussy have in common? [NSFW]

The flavor gets stronger as you get closer to the butt.

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An African Lumberjack

An African lumberjack is interviewing for a job at a major logging company. The foreman decides to take a practical route and hands the lumberjack an axe. "Take a couple swings at that tree over there." The foreman said. The lumberjack walks over to the tree and fells it in a single chop. "Holy smokes, you've got quite the arm! You're absolutely hired, but I need to know what you can do. Try your hand at this tree over here." The foreman points out a much larger tree. One, two swings and the tree crashes to the ground. "That's incredible!" Cried the foreman. "Wherever did you learn to chop like that?!" "In the Sahara Forest." Replied the lumberjack. "Don't you mean the Sahara Desert?" Asked the foreman. "That's why I'm here."

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