One asks 'do you also pray before each meal'? The other responds : no, my mom knows how to cook.
Chủ Nhật, 23 tháng 10, 2016
A policeman knocked at my door.....
I answered and he said "Mr. Smith? it's your wife, I'm afraid it looks like she's been in an accident."
I said "I know, but she has a great personality and is a wonderful mum"
A mathematician stumbles home drunk at 3 a.m.
...and his wife is livid. “You SWORE that you’d be home by 11:45!” "No," slurs the mathematician... “I said I’d be home by a quarter of 12.”
Blackbeard the pirate sends his son BB Junior to kindergarten
As its the first day, the teachers want to gauge how smart each child is.
"who can sing the Alphabet" enquires the teacher
'Y'arrrr I can" says BB Junior
"Ok BB, go ahead" the teacher encourages
BB stands up full of confidence "A B C C C C C C C D E F..."
"Stop" the teacher interrupts "thats not right BB there is only one C"
BB looks at her as if she's an idiot
"WRONG" he retorts "THERE ARE SEVEN C's"
I was invited to a party...
'Black tie only' was written on the invitation card. When I got there, I noticed that other people worn shirts and pants, too.
NSFW 69
A shy young man who on his 25th birthday confides to his best friends hes never been laid. They all have a laugh and poke fun, one chap asks "not even a 69", the shy young man just looks back puzzled, with that its decided they're pitching in and taking him to the whore house to get a "69". When they arrive, with nervous laughter they ask the Madame to see the girls and select an older one who promises to be gentle and show him the ropes. They go back to the room and the young man is asked to disrobe and lay down on the bed, the prostitute then proceeds to straddle his face and give him a blowy, about 5 minutes in she lets out a big juicy fart, the young man being shy doesn't say anything and proceeds to munch her box, then a minute later she lets another rip, this time its like someone peeled an onion in his mouth so he jumps up and says, "Mam keep the money there's no fucking way I can handle 67 more of those."
An old Hitler joke
Some time ago, a medium contacted Hitler's spirit by accident. Out of curiosity, he decided to listen to what Hitler had to say.
"Listen to my words, you little brat: I'm gonna reincarnate someday, and I'm gonna kill six million Jews and two dogs".
"Why the two dogs?" the medium replied.
"See, nobody cares about the Jews!"
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