Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

Thứ Năm, 27 tháng 10, 2016

What do you call a group of babies?

an Infantry...

A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday...

She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results. On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around. As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 35,"he replied. "I'm actually 47," the woman said, feeling really happy. After that she went into McDonald's for lunch and asked the order taker the same question. He replied, "Oh, you look about 29." "I am actually 47!" she said, feeling really good. While standing at the bus stop she asked an old man the same...

Bad cooking and sex

Husband: Your cooking is pretty pathetic despite watching cooking shows on TV. Wife: You watch Porn but do I complain?...

I love eBay!

Sold my homing pigeons 4 times this month....

A man walks into a bar.

A man walks into a bar in Alabama and orders a cosmopolitan. The bartender looks at the man and says, "You're not from 'round here are ya?" "No" replies the man, "I'm from New Hampshire." The bartender looks at him and says, "Well what do you do in New Hampshire?" "I'm a taxidermist," says the man. The bartender looks bewildered, so the man explains, "I mount dead animals." The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar, "It's OK, boys! He's one of us!"...

By far the worst thing I've ever done

I was 12, living with my abusive uncle and auntie. We lived on an old farm, no animals just fields. One day my uncle goes off to a market and comes back with this filthy ass horse. Says it's bred from some old bloke's prize stallion. Auntie loves it for some reason, because it's all muddy she calls it "Dirty." She was a bit fucked up like that. I, being a countryside kid, liked horses and riding them. Then they turned on me saying "If we ever catch you riding our fucking horse then we will beat the living shit out of you." They meant it, they'd...