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Thứ Ba, 1 tháng 11, 2016

There was a young pregnant woman...

...and her dream was for her baby to grow up with perfect manners.

So everyday, she would gently rub her belly whilst repeating the line, "Be polite. Be polite."

But a strange thing happened.

After 9 months, the baby showed no signs of coming out.

After a year the woman was still pregnant, and she still kept up the practice of gently rubbing her belly and saying, "Be polite. Be polite."

The woman`s pregnancy continued and continued.

It lasted years.

She refused to let doctors check out the situation with ultrasound and she refused to listen to any advice that they tried to give her.

But all the while she continued to gently rub her belly and say,"Be polite. Be polite."

She finally died at the age of 80 without giving birth.

The mystery of the unborn baby was finally solved when doctors finally opened her up.

Inside her womb were two little men with long white beards saying to each other, "No, my friend. I must insist. After you."

How many vampires does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It depends if you Count Dracula.

What do you call colorful secret police?

The RGB

No One Saw Tesla’s Solar Roof Coming


No One Saw Tesla’s Solar Roof Coming
Elon Musk just showed us the grand unification of Tesla: fast cars, big batteries, and a stunning solar rooftop.

October 31, 2016 at 07:33PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2dUOHZU

Having gay parents must be horrible ...

... you either get twice as much of dad jokes or get stuck in an infinite loop of "go ask your mom"

Husband : Why are there broken condoms on our couch???

Wife : would you please call our children by their real names?

A politician is walking down the street when he is suddenly attacked.

The assailant says "give me all your money." The politician says "do you know who I am? I'm an important government official." The mugger says, "fine, give me all my money."