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Thứ Ba, 1 tháng 11, 2016

The FBI, Interpol and Mumbai police are having a competition as to who is the best detective squad.

The test is simple. They leave a rabbit into the woods and the team who finds the rabbit in the fastest time wins.

Interpol goes first. They go into the forest, hunt for clues, interrogate the animals, set a trap for the rabbit at its favorite watering hole and within a month, they have captured the rabbit!

FBI goes in next. They look for clues for a couple of days, then burn down the entire forest and bring back the charred remains of the rabbit on the third day!

Mumbai police goes after that. In a few hours they come back with a brutally beaten and bloody bear who is shouting "Alright! I'm a rabbit! I'm a fucking rabbit!"

A frog decided to trace his genealogy one day...

He discovered he was a tad Polish.

I hate it when you hold the door open for people

And all they can say is, "Oh fucking hell, I can see you having a shit!"

My girlfriend and I are always laughing about how competitive we are.

I laugh more.

After trick-or-treating, a teen takes a shortcut home through the cemetery.

Halfway across, he’s startled by a tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, he spots an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at a headstone.

“I thought you were a ghost,” says the relieved teen.

“What are you doing working so late?”

“Oh, those idiots,” grumbles the old man. “They misspelled my name!”

My girlfriend and I are always laughing about how competitive we are.

I laugh more.

My girlfriend yelled at me today saying, "You weren't even listening just now, were you?!"

I thought, "Man, what a weird way to start a conversation."