He hits on anything twelve or higher.
Thứ Sáu, 4 tháng 11, 2016
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.
The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?'
'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke'
The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.'
Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.
'No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato, and a salad,' says the man.
'Same,' says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?
'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'
'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live. It's brilliant!'
'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact amount of money is always there,' says the man.
The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'
The man sighs, pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say.'
Give a man a fish and you will feed him for a day
Teach a man to fish and he will spend hundreds of dollars on equipment he will use 3 times a year
A blonde called her husband...
"Honey, I have a huge problem."
"What's the matter, dear?"
"I've bought a puzzle, but it's too difficult, the pieces don't fit!"
"Sweety, remember how I taught you? Start on the edges."
"I know that, but I can't find the edges."
"Ok, what's the picture? Must be on the box."
"It's a tiger."
"A tiger? I don't remember that puzzle. Hang on, I'm coming home!"
When the husband arrives she takes him to the kitchen and shows him the puzzle on the table.
He looks at it, shakes his head, cries, punches the wall, counts to 10 and after a long and thoughtful silence he explodes:
"For f*cks sake, woman! Put those frosted flakes back in the box!!"
Thứ Năm, 3 tháng 11, 2016
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