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Thứ Năm, 17 tháng 11, 2016

A flight is on its way to Sydney when a blonde in economy class gets up, and moves to the first class section and sits down

The flight attendant watches her do this, and asks to see her ticket.

She then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class, and that she will have to sit in the back.

The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Sydney and I’m staying right here”.

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and the co-pilot that there is a blonde bimbo sitting in first class, that belongs in economy, and won’t move back to her seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for economy she will have to leave and return to her seat.

The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Sydney and I’m staying right here”.

The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman who won’t listen to reason.

The pilot says, “You say she is a blonde? I’ll handle this, I’m married to a blonde. I speak blonde”.

He goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear, and she says, “Oh, I’m sorry” and gets up and goes back to her seat in economy.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.

I told her, “First class isn’t going to Sydney “

A little girl was drawing a picture of Jonah inside the whale in class...

Her teacher asked her "What's that?"

"It's Jonah inside the belly of the whale from the Bible." She replied

The teacher, an atheist, told her "You know that didn't really happen."

She kept drawing "When I get to heaven I'll just ask Jonah."

"What if he's not in heaven? The teacher admonished.

The girl, still drawing "Then you ask him"

A man asks his wife if he can cum in her ear...

She says, "No, I'll go deaf."

He says, "Funny, I always cum in your mouth and you never shut the fuck up."

What Was the Nerd?


What Was the Nerd?
The myth of the bullied white outcast loner is helping fuel a fascist resurgence.

November 16, 2016 at 08:26PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2fgjywF

I have an EpiPen.

My friend gave it to me as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I have it.

I was in the confessional booth today and I asked the priest if he thought it might be a good idea to stop masturbating.

He said “Sure, if it bothers you, I’ll stop.”

Poop jokes aren't my absolute favorite kinds of jokes.

But they're a solid #2.