Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

Thứ Năm, 24 tháng 11, 2016

My ex girlfriend was an absolute treasure

I say this because just like treasure, you'll probably need a map and a shovel to find her...

Did you guys hear about the CEO of Reddit?

I heard he's a great guy....

My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex...

I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came....

A woman and her two snot nosed screaming kids walk into Walmart.

She's still wearing her pajamas and her hair looks like it hasn't been combed in days. She is screaming and cussing at her kids when she is approached by an old man working as a door greater. The greeter says "what lovely kids, are the twins"? The woman replies "are you blind or just dumb? They are two years apart and look not a damn thing alike." The man grins and says "No I just can't believe someone had sex with you twice"...

Who led the Jews across a semi-permeable membrane?

Osmoses....

A polar bear walks into a bar.

The bartender asks what he'll have. The bear says "I guess I'll have a................beer." The bartender asks "Why the big pause?" The polar shrugs. "I don't know, I was born with 'em."...

At a Nazi mine, a worker calls out to Hitler:

"Sir, we are mining too many useless ores" [Hitler rubs his chin, contemplating] "So mine less" [Grammar Nazi chimes in, from above] "MINE FEWER" [Hitler looks up] "Yes?"...