FunnyStory about animals and all around the world
Funny Video about animals and all around the world! :)
Funny picture about animals and all around the world :)
Play game and comfortable :)
Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.
A local newspaper (in England) ran a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line… But the least romantic second line. Here are some of the entries they received:
My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe “go to hell"
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl’s empty and so is your head.
Oh loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don’t take that paper bag off of your face
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes – Damn, I’m good at telling lies!
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That’s why I always wake up screaming
My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way
My submission, however, was declined. The paper said that the entire poem was far too romantic.
Roses are red, violets are blue
Pornhub is down, so your Facebook will do.
A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh. I wonder what happened to this Parrot?"
The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."
"Holy shit," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"
"I got every word," says the parrot.” I happen to be a highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird."
"Oh yeah?", the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"
"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my willie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."
"Wow" says the guy, "you really can understand and speak English, can't you!?"
"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."
The guy looks at the $200 price tag.” Sorry, but I just can't afford that."
"Pssssssst" says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer!"
The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humour, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful.
The guy is delighted. One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes "Psssssssssssst" and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."
"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.
"When the postman delivered today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie and kissed him passionately."
"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"
"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over" reported the parrot.
"My God!" he exclaims. "Then what?"
"Then he lifted up the nightie, got down on his knees and began to lick her all over, starting with her breasts and slowly going down..."
"WELL???" demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"
"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch."
The patrons are dismayed. They know someone’s got to call his wife, but no one feels up to the task.
The drunk at the end of the bar unexpectedly says he’ll do it, and he picks up the phone.
“Hello, is this Mrs Jamison? Ma'am…I have some good news, and some bad news for you”
“What’s that?” She asks suspiciously
“The bad news is your husband lost $20,000 to me playing poker.”
“What!” She screams. “I’m going to kill him!”
The drunk replies “Well, that’s the good news…”