The daughter that sees the future!

A father put his 3year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying, "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa." The father asked, 'Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?' The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do." The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this, "God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma." The...

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After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for almost 10 years.

But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it....

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What do you call a bird that's afraid of heights?

A chicken...

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After a consultation, the doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches.

The bad news is that it will require castration. You see, your testicles seem to be pressing on your spine and the pressure creates one heck of a headache. I can relieve the pressure by removing the testicles." Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in fifteen years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different...

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A dyslexic walks into a bank and yells:

"Hands in the air motherfuckers! This is a stick up!" Because he's just dyslexic and can still speak fine...

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A guy walks into a bar wearing a Browns jersey and carrying a cat that also has a Browns jersey on with a little Browns helmet on his head, too.

The guy says to the bartender, "Can my cat and I watch the Browns game here? My TV at home is broke, and my cat and I always watch the game together." The bartender replies, "Normally, cats wouldn't be allowed in the bar, but it's not very busy in here right now, so you and the cat can have a seat at the end of the bar. But, if there's any trouble with you or the cat, I'll have to ask you to leave" The guy agrees, and he and his cat start watching the game. Pretty soon the Browns kick a field goal and the excited cat jumps up on the bar and walks...

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Magic mushroom ingredient psilocybin could be key to treating depression - studies

Magic mushroom ingredient psilocybin could be key to treating depression - studies Researchers involved in the two trials in the United States say the results are remarkable. The volunteers had “profoundly meaningful and spiritual experiences” which made most of them rethink life and death, ended their despair and brought about lasting improvement in the quality of their lives. December 1, 2016 at 09:19PM via Digg http://ift.tt/2fUV0...

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