Once upon a time ...

Once upon a time ..a small boy named Basheer lived in a tiny Moroccan village. All his classmates hated him for his stupidity especially his teacher who was always yelling at him "you are driving me crazy Basheer"... One day his mother went to check out how he is doing at school and the teacher told her honestly that her son is simply a disaster, getting very low marks and never had she seen such a dumb boy in her whole career... The mother could not accept such a feed back and she took her son out from that school. she even shifted to another...

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What do you call a girl who catches fish?

Anette. Justthoughtofthisi'msorryit'sbad.. Edit: Wow, front page of /r/jokes I finally did it!...

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Two gay men are on a plane.....

Their names where Justin and Ryan "Dude, what if we had sex?" asks Justin. "You crazy? Here, on the plane? It would be awkward, everyone would watch us doing it..." "Man, nobody is even paying attention to anything. Look!" Justin stands up and asks loudly: "Could I have a pencil, please?" Nobody gives a damn. Everyone is sleeping, reading, looking out the window, etc. "They really wouldn't care then, would they?" says Ryan. So Justin and Ryan have wild sex on the plane. Later, when the plane arrives to the airport and the people are leaving, the...

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A guy goes to Las Vegas to gamble

And he loses all his money. He doesn't even have enough for a cab, but he flagged one down anyway. He explained to the driver that he would pay him back next time and gave him his phone number, but the driver told him, "Get the fuck out of my cab." He walked all the way to the airport and got home. Some times rolls by and he decides to go back to Vegas again and this time he wins BIG. He gets his bags and is ready for the airport with all his new winnings. There are a line of cabs and at the very end he sees the driver from last time that kicked...

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Wife: "Can you pick up milk?"

Me: lifts gallon "Yeah, it's easy." Wife: "I mean from the store." Me: "I'd imagine it weighs the same there too"...

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An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained. "Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first...

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A monkey was in a tree smoking weed...

A monkey was in a tree smoking weed... A lizard, walking by, looked up and saw him. "Yo, Monkey." Said the lizard. "What are you doing up there?" The monkey looked down and answered him. "I'm smoking weed." "Can I have some?" Asked the Lizard. "Yeah, dude. Come on up here." So the lizard climbed the tree and smoked weed with the monkey. They smoked and smoked until the lizard's mouth got dry and he became very thirsty. "Yo, Monkey." Said the lizard. "This weed is fire, but my mouth is so dry. Do you have any water?" "Not on me." Said the monkey....

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