She says, "Buy a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen."
An hour later, he returns home with twelve loaves of bread. She asks,
"Why did you get twelve loaves of bread?" Her husband replies,
"Because they had eggs."
Thứ Bảy, 4 tháng 3, 2017
George Clooney, Leonardo Dicaprio and Matthew Mcconaughey got together to make a movie......
George Clooney said "I'll direct"
Dicaprio said "I'll produce"
and Matthew McConaughey said "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write"
There was a man in Bulgaria who drove a train for a living...
There was a man in Bulgaria who drove a train for a living.
He loved his job, driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child.
He loved to make the train go as fast as possible.
Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash.
He made it out, but a single person died.
Well, needless to say, he went to court over this incident.
He was found guilty, and was sentenced to death by electrocution.
When the day of the execution came, he requested a single banana as his last meal.
After eating the banana, he was strapped into the electric chair.
The switch was flown, sparks flew and smoke filled the air- but nothing happened.
The man was perfectly fine.
Well, at the time, there was an old Bulgarian law that said a failed execution was a sign of divine intervention, so the man was allowed to go free.
And somehow, he managed to get his old job back driving the train.
Having not learned his lesson at all, he went right back to driving the train with reckless abandon.
Once again, he caused a train to crash, this time killing two people.
The trial went much the same as the first, resulting in a sentence of execution.
For his final meal, the man requested two bananas.
After eating the bananas, he was strapped into the electric chair.
The switch was thrown, sparks flew, smoke filled the room- and the man was once again unharmed.
Well, this of course meant that he was free to go.
And once again, he somehow manages to get his old job back.
To what should have been the surprise of no one, he crashed yet another train and killed three people.
And so he once again found himself being sentenced to death.
On the day of his execution, he requested his final meal- three bananas.
"You know what? No," said the executioner. "I've had it with you and your stupid bananas and walking out of here unharmed. I'm not giving you a thing to eat, we're strapping you in and doing this now."
Well, it was against protocol, but the man was strapped in to the electric chair without a last meal.
The switch was pulled, sparks flew, smoke filled the room- and the man was still unharmed.
The executioner was speechless.
The man looked at the executioner and said "Oh, the bananas had nothing to do with it. I'm just a bad conductor."
An FBI agent tells a Montana rancher, 'I need to inspect your ranch for illegal grown drugs.' The old rancher says, 'Okay, but don't go in that field over there.'
The agent verbally explodes saying, 'Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me.' Reaching into his rear pant pocket and removing his badge. The officer proudly displays it to the farmer. 'See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish, on any land. No questions asked or answered given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?'
The old rancher nods politely and goes about his chores. Later, the old rancher hears loud screams and spies the agent running for his life and close behind is the rancher's bull. With every step the bull is gaining ground on the agent. The agent is clearly terrified.
The old rancher immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs..... 'Your badge! Show him your badge!'
You May Want To Marry My Husband
You May Want To Marry My Husband
A woman dying of cancer writes a love letter to her husband, for whomever finds him next. Without a doubt the most heartbreaking, touching thing you'll read today.
March 3, 2017 at 10:18PM
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