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Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.

Thứ Ba, 7 tháng 3, 2017

A little girl was playing in the garden

A father watched his young daughter as she played in the garden. Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes.

Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to see what had captured her attention.

He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.

"Daddy, what are those spiders doing?" she asked. "They’re mating," her father replied. "What do you call the spider on top?" "That’s a Daddy Longlegs."

The little girl thought for a moment. "So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" she asked.

The father's heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question. He laughed, and then replied, "No sweetheart. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."

The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then lifted her foot and stomped the spiders flat. "Well, we’re not having any of that gay shit in our garden."

David Letterman on Life After TV, Late Night Today, and the Man He Calls Trumpy


David Letterman on Life After TV, Late Night Today, and the Man He Calls Trumpy
“How’s this interview going? Do you think you’re talking to a normal person here?”

March 6, 2017 at 08:31PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2msO9gI

Why are people with foot fetishes always losers?

They love the smell of defeat.

Australians don't have sex...

Australians mate.

Boxes of 3, 6 or 12

A man walks into a drug store with his 11-year-old son.

They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?

To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms son. Men use them to have safe sex."

"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. "I've heard of that in health class at school."

He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"

The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."

"Cool!" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"

"Those are for college men," the dad answers. "Two for Friday, two for Saturday, and two for Sunday."

"Wow!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack.

With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied, "Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March..."

(Hope this isn't a re-post)

A white woman takes a black man she met at a club home...

She takes him by the hand to the bedroom and suggestively winks at him and says: "why don't you show me if what they say about black guys is true." So he stabs her and takes her TV.

P.s. Don't worry, it's ok for me to make such jokes because I'm racist.

I saw a sign that made me shit my pants

It said "bathroom closed".