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Thứ Tư, 8 tháng 3, 2017
What does it mean to be human?
What does it mean to be human?
"If instead the climate had got wetter and warmer, we might be Neanderthals today discussing the demise of modern humans." Gaia Vince dives into the history of humans and Neanderthals and how humans won out — with the help of Neanderthal DNA.
March 7, 2017 at 08:47PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2n1k31W
A hospital patient made several false alarm trips to the bathroom...
A hospital patient made several false alarm trips to the bathroom and decided the latest episode was another and stayed in bed.
He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.
In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.
A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him.
He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.
A policeman walked by and asked, "What the heck is going on here?"
The drunk, staring down at his feet, replied, "I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost!"
This barista at StarBucks looked so nervous as she handed me my coffee.
I think she was scared because she spelt my name wrong, it said "callthecops".
I didn't bother leaving a tip.
A department store was opened to sell Husbands. The store had 6 floors...
Now the rule was you could purchase any husband from any floor, but once you went up to another level you could not go back down, but to exit the store.
A lady entered and the sign on the first floor said 'men with a job', she went up to the next level which read 'men with a job and likes kids'.
Impressed she then went up another level where the sign read 'men with a job, likes kids and has a romantic streak', she liked the sound of that, but proceeded to the next level where the sign read 'men with a job, likes kids, romantic and good looking'.
She was really impressed now but went on to the fifth floor where the sign read 'men with a job, likes kids, romantic, absolutely gorgeous, and enjoys helping around the home'.
Now this lady was very impressed with that, but still she went on up to the sixth floor, and there on the sixth floor was a solitary sign which read...
You are the 3,00,450,701 woman to visit this floor, this demonstrates how women are impossible to please. Thank you for visiting the Husband store. Have a nice day.
Directly across the road from the Husbands store was another department store that sold Wives. And, similar to the Husbands store, this store had 6 floors where you could purchase a Wife on any level, but if you went up a floor you couldn't go back down and had to exit.
So, a bloke walks into the store and on the first floor reads the following sign: "Women who like sex".
Impressed the guy goes up to the second floor where he meets a similar sign, but this one reads: "Women who like sex and are good looking."
No man has ever gone to the third floor.
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