Anagram of "mother in law"

Woman Hitler...

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My wife said we needed to childproof our upright piano, so it wouldn't fall over on our toddler...

... I said that was a good idea, because I wouldn't want a flat minor....

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The three unwritten rules of life

1. 2. 3....

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Bad news

The doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. 'You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.' Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing...

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I asked my North Korean pen pal how it was like living in North Korea

"I can't complain" he wrote back....

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A guy walks into a bar owned by Eminem...

He says,"Give me 2 shots..." The bartender cuts him off and says,"You only get 1 shot."...

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A woman asked a General in the army the last time he made love to a woman...

The general stood tall and said "1956 ma'am." The woman, taken back by this answer said "1956?! That long?! Let me make your night better..." and the two sauntered away to a private room. The woman began to strip and the two made passionate love for an hour. The woman cuddled up to the army general afterward and said "well, you sure haven't forgotten any thing since 1956...". The general looked at her confused and said "well I sure hope not. It's only 2130 now!"...

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