I searched for a cigarette lighter and 15,000 matches came up....
Chủ Nhật, 16 tháng 4, 2017
A man owned a sentient calculator
He would show it to people all the time, and tell them about the sentient calculator. He'd ask a question, and the calculator would give the answer, and every time it was the correct one. At first, people were excited, and they would demand to know what the trick was. A lot of theories, ranging from voice recognition software to sleight of hand, were thrown around.
But time and time again, the man would insist that no, it was simply a sentient calculator.
Now, at first, the people simply figured that the man didn't want to reveal his trick and...
An odd joke
Once there was a guy whose parents named him Odd. All through school, Odd was made fun of for his odd name. Eventually, as an grown man, he found a beautiful woman to marry and raise a family with. During a summer day in their 70s, Odd told his wife as they sat in the living room that he had never liked his odd name. He told her that, when he died, she should just put his birthday and date of death on the grave, without his name. Sure enough, several years later, Odd passed away. His wife did as he had requested, and buried him, putting only his...
The greatest joke I ever heard. So there's this long line outside of St. Peter's gate...
St. Peter comes out and says "Alright everyone... We are pretty full in heaven right now, so we've decided that whoever can tell the best story of how they died, will get into heaven"
One man steps forward and says "I definitely have the best one..."
"I lived in an apartment complex, and I had been suspecting my wife had been cheating on me. So I came home early from work today, and found her naked in our bed. I searched the whole apartment trying to find a man, and found him hanging from the windowsill. I beat his hands with my fists but he wouldn't...
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette die and go to heaven...
There they are greeted by St. Peter who looks at them grimly.
"Unfortunately, heaven is quite full at the moment so you must all undergo a test to prove your worth. Before you all is the stairway to heaven totalling one thousand steps. On each step I will tell you a joke, they will get progressively funnier as you go higher with the funniest joke you've ever heard on the thousandth step. Should you laugh at any moment, you will instantly be sent to hell. Do you understand?"
The three girls nodded.
"Then let us begin," St. Peter said.
They each...
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