Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

Thứ Ba, 18 tháng 4, 2017

Einstein dies and goes to heaven

Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, "You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?" Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?" Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity. Saint Peter is suitably impressed. "You really ARE Einstein!" he says. "Welcome to...

A student visits the principal’s office one day.

The principal says to him, “What’s your name, son?” The student replies: “D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.” The principal looks up and asks him, “Oh, do you have a stutter?” The student replies, “No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was an asshole.”...

United Employees Can No Longer Displace Boarded Passengers

United Employees Can No Longer Displace Boarded Passengers It’s one of the most obviously-needed corporate policy changes in history, but the damage to the company may already be done. April 17, 2017 at 08:16AM via Digg http://ift.tt/2okyA...

The new father

A proud new father sits down with his dad to have a drink. "Well son, now that you have a son of your own its time I gave you something." "Dad you dont mea-" "Yes I do. You've earned it." Says the father as he passes a copy of '1001 Dad Jokes 5th Edition' to the son. "Dad I dont know what to say...I'm honored." "Hi honored," Replies the father. "I'm dad."...

Two monks were fishing in the lake behind their monastery when they caught the biggest fish either of them had ever seen.

Two monks were fishing in the lake behind their monastery when they caught the biggest fish either of them had ever seen. When the monk reeling it in got it on shore he was so overwhelmed with excitement he yelled "look at the size of that son-of-a-bitch!" Aghast, the second monk looked at him with disgust. The monk thought quickly and said, "oh. Um. That's the name of this type of fish. It's actually a son-of-a-bitch fish." Oh. Nodded the other monk. Well I guess I will take this son-of-a-bitch to the kitchen. He took the fish to the kitchen...

A man was drinking the blood of a vampire...

He said, "Hm, irony"...

A wife is like a hand grenade

Take off the ring and say goodbye to your house...