Saw a homeless man eating grass in the park...

Asked him "why are you eating Grass?"

He said "I'm very hungry"

"Oh. Okay then. Come with me"

You should've seen the look on his face when I showed him my backyard.

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There's a mouse named In and a mouse named Out. How does Out know that In has died?

Instincts

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Humans are being tested against the new AI program

The robot beats the human in every category. It comes to one of the last ones: hunting. The robot again beats the human. However, someone working there sets the animals free again and tells them to try get them again. The robot doesn't move whilst the human wins because

ROBOTS CANT RECAPTCHA

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Did you know: If you say a number loud enough, you increase its value?

For example: 5 equals 5, but

5! equals 120.

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Whatever you do, always give it your 100%.

Unless you are donating blood.

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We used to have empires ruled by emperors and we used to have kingdoms ruled by kings…

Now we have countries…

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During meditation, a monk asks his master...

"Master. If a man shaves his ass, is he gay?"

His master thought for a moment and replied:

"A man who cleans his house, clearly expects a visitor."

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