Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.
Chủ Nhật, 23 tháng 4, 2017
A man goes to get his passport renewed...
He goes to the counter and is jotting down his personal information.
"Alright sir, can I have your full name please?"
"Pepepeter Bbbbbbbbryant"
"Excuse me, sir, are you a stutterer? "
"No, ma'am, my father was a stutterer, and the guy who made my birth certificate, an asshole".
A poker player wins one million dollars first price in a tournament
Interviewer: Congratulations on your win! If you don't mind me asking, how will you spend you $1 million winnings?
Poker player: I owe some people some money so I will be paying my debt to these guys.
Interviewer: and what about the rest?
Poker player: Well... I guess they'll have to wait..
A guy walks into a diner on the side of the road
The place is really old and messy, but he was hungry from the road so he sat at the table and ordered spaghetti with meatballs.
After a while the waitress gives him the order, and he saw a bunch of thick hairs on some of the meatballs.
He calls the waitress "Hey miss, there are a bunch of hairs in my food, I know it's not supposed to be the cleanest place but what the hell?!"
The waitress apologizes, "I'm sorry sir, it's just that our chef is a vet who lost his arm in Afghanistan, he's a great cook and very creative so we let him work here, but since he only has one arm he has to shape them on his chest, and probably hairs that poke out stick to them."
Suddenly a dude who sat nearly says:"If that's your chef's creativity then please cancel my order of donuts, I'm scared of how he makes the holes."
Thứ Bảy, 22 tháng 4, 2017
Dad my girlfriends pregnant
"Dad, my girlfriend's pregnant." "I'm not mad, just disappointed." "Hi disappointed, I'm dad." "Did you jus..." "Yes." "You're ready." "I'm not ready, I just told you that I'm dad."
Đăng ký:
Nhận xét (Atom)