Where the fuck has the roof gone?
Thứ Hai, 24 tháng 4, 2017
Chủ Nhật, 23 tháng 4, 2017
A man woke up in the morning deeply repentant after a bitter fight with his wife the previous night.
He noticed with dismay the crate of beer bottles that had caused the fight.
He took it outside and started smashing the empty bottles one by one onto the wall.
He smashed the first bottle swearing, "you are the reason I fight with my wife".
He smashed the second bottle, "you are the reason I don't love my children".
He smashed the third bottle, "you are the reason I don't have a decent job".
When he took the fourth bottle, he realized that the bottle was still sealed and was full. He hesitated for only a moment and said
"you stand aside, I know you were not involved".
Introducing "All the children" jokes
Here in Sweden, there's a classic joke cycle called "All the children-jokes". They're kind of like limericks, but less strict. All jokes follow this pattern in some way:
"All the children do x, except [name] because he/she does y."
Where y rhymes with the name. You can experiment with tense and phrasing as you like. The point is to make y as unexpected and comical in relation to x as possible. Of course, there is also the game of making these jokes as dirty and morbid as possible.
Some examples:
All the children were planned, except Jake.
His parents made a mistake.
All the children were tired, except Jane.
She had cocaine.
All the children stared into the microwave, except Jack.
He stared back.
All the children were swimming, except Joe.
His lungs were full of H2O.
All the children are loved by their parents, except Dale.
He is for sale.
All the children died in the school shooting, except Tim.
They'll regret not respecting him.
All the children were cannibals, except Lucy.
She was juicy.
All the children killed a terrorist, except Belle.
She killed an infidel.
All the children crossed the road, except Neil.
He was hit by an Oldsmobile.
All the children can handle explosives, except Grace.
She is all over the place.
Keep them coming...
Carl opened a zoo.
Carl opened a zoo and made the entry fee $60. No one turned up.
Carl made the entry fee $30. Yet again, no one turned up.
So, Carl made the zoo free to enter, soon enough, it was full.
Carl shut the gates, released the lions, and made the exit fee $60.
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