Did you hear about the new Swastika Fidget spinners?

They really help you concentrate!...

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Asians are sooo bad at driving....

I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident....

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My maths teacher never goes outside

I can tell, cos there's no sin of his tan...

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Glasses

"How much do you weigh?" "Precisely 75 kg when I'm wearing my glasses." "What about when you are not wearing your glasses?" "No idea. Can't see shit."...

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Do you know how to confuse a coal miner?

Show him a row of shovels and tell him to take his pick....

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A prostitute? Awesome!!!

Irish Prostitute Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return her Father cursed her heavily. 'Where have ye been all this time, child? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother through?' The girl, crying, replied, Dad... I became a prostitute.' 'Ye what!? Get out a here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family.' 'OK, Dad... as ye wish. I only came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion,...

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A hillbilly was maried happily with his wife, untill one day he rushed into a divorce lawyer office.

One day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions: Have you any grounds? Yes, an acre and half and a nice little home. No, I mean what is the foundation of this case? It's made o' concrete. I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge? No, we have a carport. I mean what are your relations like? All my relations still in Louisiana. Is there any infidelity in your marriage?...

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