They really help you concentrate!
Thứ Năm, 18 tháng 5, 2017
A prostitute? Awesome!!!
Irish Prostitute
Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return her Father cursed her heavily.
'Where have ye been all this time, child? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother through?'
The girl, crying, replied, Dad... I became a prostitute.'
'Ye what!? Get out a here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family.'
'OK, Dad... as ye wish. I only came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion, plus a 5 million savings certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club ... (takes a breath) ... and an invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera.'
'What was it ye said ye had become?' says Dad.
Girl, crying again, 'A prostitute, Daddy!.'
'Oh! My Goodness! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant! Come here and give yer old Dad a hug !!!
A hillbilly was maried happily with his wife, untill one day he rushed into a divorce lawyer office.
One day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
Have you any grounds? Yes, an acre and half and a nice little home.
No, I mean what is the foundation of this case? It's made o' concrete.
I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge? No, we have a carport.
I mean what are your relations like? All my relations still in Louisiana.
Is there any infidelity in your marriage? We have a hi-fidelity stereo and a good DVD player.
Does your wife beat you up? No, I always get up before her.
Is your wife a nagger? No, but the baby is, that's why I want the divorce.
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