Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

Thứ Bảy, 20 tháng 5, 2017

A trucker was missing his girlfriend

A trucker had been on the road for a couple of weeks and was looking forward to seeing his girlfriend back home and having sex with her. He was nervous about busting a nut too early and remembered reading that masturbating before having sex would help prolong the act. The only problem was that he didn't have a place to beat his meat, his helper/co-driver was sleeping in the back and there were no truck stops for miles. Then he had a stroke of genius and stopped the truck at a wayside. He hopped out and went under the truck to make it look like...

Thứ Sáu, 19 tháng 5, 2017

A man wakes up in a dingy slum

with no memory of how he got there. He wanders around aimlessly before he finds even one person who will talk to him. Some ratty beggar on the street turns out to be nice enough to explain where he is. "You're in the afterlife!" he tells the man, "But you must have been a real shithead when you were alive, because this is the fourth ring, and only the worst people come here." All of a sudden, a siren goes off, one of those air-raid things. The man is terrified but the beggar gets up calmly and leads him to a big, dilapidated warehouse where thousands...

Cop: Whose car is this? Where are you headed? What do you do?

Miner: Mine....

A man goes to a halloween party...

...in nothing but his underwear and a woman on his back. His friends see him and ask, "Hey man, what are you meant to be?" He replies, "I'm a turtle." His friends respond, "A turtle? How are you a turtle? Who's that woman on your back?" The man replies, "Oh, that's just Michelle."...

A man walks into a bar

and he sees this small man playing the piano. The man, astounded, asks the bartender why there is a small man playing the piano in the bar. The bartender pulls out a dusty old lamp and says that there is a genie in there and that he would grant one wish to anyone who frees him. So the man walks outside the bar with the lamp, rubs it and sure enough a genie comes out. "Thank you for freeing me. For this, you can have one wish." So the man thinks for a bit and shouts, "I want a million ducks!" and as soon as he said it, money fell from the sky,...

Your parents in 1996: "Don't trust ANYBODY on the internet!"

Your parents today: "Freedom Eagle dot facebook says Hillary invented AIDS."...

I told the paramedics the wrong blood type for my ex

Now she'll know what rejection feels like...