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Thứ Bảy, 20 tháng 5, 2017

A Big Muscular Guy Walks Into Walmart

A big muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter at Walmart and asks, "W-w-w-where's the e-l-l-l-lectronic's dep-p-p-partment?"

The assistant behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.

The man repeats himself: "W-w-w-where's the e-l-l-l-lectronic's dep-p-p-partment?"

Again, the assistant doesn't answer him.

The guy asks several more times: "W-w-w-where's the e-l-l-l-lectronic's dep-p-p-partment?"

And the assistant just seems to ignore him.

Finally, the guy storms off in anger.

The customer who was waiting in line behind the guy asks the assistant, "Why wouldn't you answer that guy's question?"

The assistant answers, "D-d-d-do you th-th-th-think I w-w-w-want to get b-b-b-beat up?!!"

The Redneck Joke

Two Tennessee Rednecks, Bubba and Jim Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Bubba turns to Jim Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College, and sign up for some classes." Jim Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave.

The next day, Bubba goes down to the college and meets the Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Bubba says. "What's that?"

The dean says, "I'll show you. Do you own a weedeater?"

"Yeah."

"Then logically speaking, because you own a weedeater, I think that you would have a yard."

"That's true, I do have a yard."

"I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house."

"Yes, I do have a house."

"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family."

"I have a family."

"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife."

"Yes, I do have a wife."

"And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual."

"I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weedeater!"

Excited to take the class now, Bubba shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Jim Bob at the bar. He tells Jim Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Jim Bob says, "What's that?"

Bubba says, "I'll show you. Do you have a weedeater?"

"No."

"Then you're fucking gay."

The funniest /r/jokes has ever been

http://ift.tt/2qFgWRc

My boss told me to have a good day

so I went home.

A lone sniper was just about to assassinate Donald Trump.

Just at the last moment, one of the President's bodyguards spotted him. He immediately shouted "Mickey Mouse, Mickey Mouse" A shot rang out and Trump fell dead. As his aides gathered round the body, one of them asked the bodyguard why he had shouted "Mickey Mouse" 'I'm sorry" he said "I meant to shout "Donald, duck"

Knock knock...

"Who's there?"

"Broken pencil"

"Broken pencil, who?"

"Never mind, it's pointless"

You can't spell "Advertisements" without...

Putting the semen between the tits.