What word begins with M and ends in arriage and is a mans favourite thing?

Miscarriage.

This joke never gets old, just like the baby.

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Maybe the Internet Isn’t Tearing Us Apart After All

Maybe the Internet Isn’t Tearing Us Apart After All
The internet is supposedly causing people to hole up in sites geared toward people like them. But the data tells us that it is not quite true.

May 21, 2017 at 10:44PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2pZcKN6

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School

With the average velocity of an ejaculation being 28mph, it is too fast for a school zone.

I don't think that's why I got arrested outside the school though.

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7 dwarfs in bed feeling happy

Happy got out so they started feeling grumpy

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A Driver gets Pulled Over

A man driving home from the bar gets pulled over by a police officer.

Officer: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

Driver: "I'm guessing you think I was drunk driving."

Officer: "Tell you what, my shift is ending so if you can spell the alphabet backwards, I'll let you go."

Driver: (very quickly) "ZYXWVUTSRQPONMLKJIHGFEDCBA."

Officer: "Wow, I couldn't do that sober."

Driver: "Me neither."

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If a woman drinks two glasses of wine a day, it increases the chances of a stroke by 50%

Let her finish the bottle and she'll probably suck it as well.

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A blind man walks into a library and asks, "Do you have any books on tape?"

The librarian says, "Yes, yes we do, but it's not a very interesting subject."

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