Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

Thứ Bảy, 3 tháng 6, 2017

An elderly man is having trouble keeping his balance on the bus

His cane is slipping on the floor. On every turn of the bus, he loses his balance and barely escapes danger of falling. So he starts looking around if someone will give him their seat. A sitting rebellious type youngster patronizes him: "Hey old man, if you put some rubber on the tip of your cane, you wouldn't have this much trouble." The old man replies: "Boy, I would be sitting down on this bus if only your father put on that rubber"...

A joung Jew loved to read books

He loved to read so much that he read all of the books in the library in his town. So one day he went to a bookstore and asked if they had a book that he haven't read yet. An old Jew that worked there said yes and handed the boy a strange, covered in dust book titled "DEATH". He said to the boy: "Here is the book that you've probably never heard of. I can sell it to you for $10 if you promise me to never, ever open it at the last page." The boy agreed and bought the book. He read it and liked it very much, but, as promised, he didn't open it at...

Thứ Sáu, 2 tháng 6, 2017

The American flag used to be a symbol for freedom and liberty...

But now it means, "Oh yeah. This person is about to say some real dumb shit on Facebook"....

An older couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time.…

Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. "How do you feel about sex?" he asked, rather tentatively. "I would like it infrequently." she replied. The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, then leaned over towards her and...

I was eating soup one day outside my favorite restaurant and it started raining..

Took me hours to finish my meal....

I have an EpiPen.

My friend gave it to me while he was dying. It seemed important to him that I have it....

I was given MDMA and LSD tonight...

What a shit way to start a game of Scrabble....