Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

Thứ Ba, 20 tháng 6, 2017

Four professionals are interviewing for a math-intensive position in a company

The shortlist of applicants includes a mathematician, a physicist, an engineer, and an accountant. To begin each interview, the representative from HR poses a simple math problem to warm up the candidates. What is 45+18? The mathematician immediately responds "63". The physicist responds "63, plus or minus 5%". The engineer thinks for a moment and responds "63, but for safety, let's call it 70". The accountant shuts the door, checks over his shoulder, leans in close to the desk, and whispers "how much do you want it to be?"...

My girlfriend asked me to name all the women I've slept with.

I probably should've stopped when I got to her....

Yesterday at a job interview I filled my glass of water until it overflowed a little.

"Nervous?" Asked the interviewer. I replied, "No, I always give 110%."...

A son went to his dad and asked him, "Dad, what's an alcoholic?"

So the dad replied, "Do you see those four trees? Well, an alcoholic would see eight." The son replied, "But Dad, I only see two."...

Thứ Hai, 19 tháng 6, 2017

First Day of School

Seven year-old Mohammad entered his classroom on the first day of school. "What's your name?" Asked the teacher. "Mohammad", he replied. "You're in America now", replied the teacher, "so from now on you will be known as 'Mike'". Mohammad returned home after school. "How was your day, Mohammad?" Asked his mother. "My name is not Mohammad. I'm in America and now my name is Mike" "Are you ashamed of your name? Are you trying to dishonor your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!" And his mother beat the shit out of him. Then she called...

A while ago I had a blind date with a Jewish girl

She asked me for my number. I told her that we usually use names....