The secret to office happiness isn’t working less—it’s caring less
People tend to center their lives around work. Even leisure time is spent so they can be more productive. It's time to stop.
August 9, 2017 at 10:02PM
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Thứ Năm, 10 tháng 8, 2017
The secret to office happiness isn’t working less—it’s caring less
The secret to office happiness isn’t working less—it’s caring less
People tend to center their lives around work. Even leisure time is spent so they can be more productive. It's time to stop.
August 9, 2017 at 10:02PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2viNUJm
A Circle of Flies
A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer uncomfortable.
Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket, and as he was doing that he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. The farmer said, "Having some problems with circle flies there, are ya?"
The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said, "Well yeah, if that's what they are called -- I never heard of circle flies."
So the farmer says, "Well, circle flies are common on farms. See, they're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."
The trooper says, "Oh," and goes back to writing the ticket. Then after a minute he stops and says, "Hey...wait a minute, are you trying to call me a horse's rear end?"
The farmer says, "Oh no, officer. I have too much respect for law enforcement to even think about calling you such a name."
The trooper says, "Well, that's a good thing," and goes back to writing the ticket.
After a long pause, the farmer says, "Hard to fool them flies though."
An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Nigerian are in a maternity ward waiting room
A nurse comes in and says, "Gentlemen, I'm sorry, but there's been a mixup with the babies. Could you please help sort it out?"
She takes them to the nursery and shows two white babies and one black baby. The Englishman picks up the black baby and starts walking off. The Nigerian says, "What the hell are you doing?"
The Englishman replies, "I'm sorry, but one of the other two babies is French, and I can't take that chance."
Thứ Tư, 9 tháng 8, 2017
Would you remarry?
A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the question....
WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do.."
WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry? "
HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)
WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"
HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."
WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"
HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."
WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."
WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"
HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."
WIFE: "Would you take her golfing with you?
HUSBAND: "Yes, those are always good times."
WIFE: "Would she use my clubs?
HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."
WIFE: -- silence --
HUSBAND: "Shit."
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