Why do riot police like to get to work early ?

To beat the crowd...

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Did you hear about the bombing at the garment factory?

Apparently there were over 100 casual tees....

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Russia started a new website that tracks down and deletes pirated movies.

Nyetflix....

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A woman awakens during the night to find her husband was not in bed.

She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wiped a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter, dear?", she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of the night?". The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly. "Yes, I do" she replies. The...

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My wife asked me that if I could have a threesome, which of her friends I would choose.

Apparently, I was only supposed to name one, not two....

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Did you know penguins scream during sex?

Maybe not all of them? But definitely the one I cornered at the zoo. Edit: of all the jokes? Really? Y'all is sick I love it...

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A man goes to the circus.

After the show he speaks to the manager and asks for a job. -"Alright, what can you do?", the manager asks. -"I can do great bird impressions", the man replies. -"Pssh, a lot of people can do that". -"Oh well", the man says and flies away....

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